Depression Understood Forums

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:46 pm A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls deathl...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:44 pm These are actual newspaper ads: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:41 pm Exercise Or Not To Exercise 1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. 2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:38 pm Easy Training Courses for Women 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game 5. Bathroo...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:36 pm Differences Between High School and College 1. In high school, you do homework. In college, you study. 2. No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come. 3. In high school, you wear your backpack...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:32 pm DAREDEVILS IN NORWAY CHAPTER 1: Two NORWEGIANS walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem!" The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:27 pm Because I'm a man... Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:22 pm The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:19 pm How to Avoid the Flu Be sure to read all the way to the end.......... How To Avoid The Flu Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immu...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:17 pm To let go: To let go: Doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it myself To let go: Is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I can't control another To let go: Is not to enable learning, but to allow learning from natural consequences To let go: I...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:11 pm Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:09 pm 15. Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers? 16. Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:04 pm 16. How do you smuggle an elephant across the border? A. Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch". 17. What do you do when an elephant comes through the window? A. Swim for it... 18. What has two grey legs and two brown legs? A. An elephant w...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:48 pm H- Hadephobia- Fear of hell. Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things. Hamartophobia- Fear of sinning. Haphephobia or Haptephobia- Fear of being touched. Harpaxophobia- Fear of being robbed. Hedonophobia- Fear of feeling pleasure. Heliophobia- Fear of the sun. Hell...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:10 pm A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to brea...