Depression Understood Forums

for some reason i find i'm SI myself again. i used to do thist when i was younger, many years ago, but now i'm 35, i'm doing it again. its a release for me, as i keep hold of all the stress and agony of life and find that i can no longer contain it. i am bipolar. i have night terrors too, i wake up ...

hello, i'm new here, and want to introduce myself.
i am english, 35 and bipolar. i have been this way since i was 6. i have many hobbies, including writing sf, fantasy and poetry. also, i play bass and guitar and write a lot of poems about my depression.
i have no idea what to say...

i was sick of it all, and living a life of agony, and then...
at the age of 25, i stopped the drinking, the drugs, the self harm, the self loathing, and now i'm 35, bipolar and still here.
life is shit, but at least its life...
i am free...

at the age of 3 i jumped from a garage roof and broke my arm. i remember doing it for the experience. by age 15 i had broken both arms, an elbow, dislocated my shoulder, broke a wrist, another arm, been run over and got a compound fracture of my ankle. the break was so bad that my sock was sucked in...

i dream of floating in the void between galaxies, suffocating in the vast emptiness of space, all the while remembering why i ended up here. then i wake up screaming, punching at demons that are always there, in the edge of my vision... i sometimes wonder if its really a dream, or a deeply hidden me...