New Member Introduction

Introductions and welcomes.

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BBB
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat May 11, 2019 2:20 pm

New Member Introduction

Postby BBB » Sat May 11, 2019 3:30 pm

Hello everyone,
I've never been clinically depressed before, but have been for the last 2 and
1/2 months. This is the hardest time of my life (so far!). Harder even than losing my boyfriend, brother and father in one year. I believe the depression was kickstarted by my mother's dementia and her going into a nursing home in February.
It's a very nice facility but hard to see mom decline. It's almost as if my poor brain had so many accumulated traumas I was running on empty (no seratonin?)
The biggest surprise about depression
was the desire to escape from it all the time, and getting behind in life activities which was depressing also and it is one huge circle. My cat is lovely and sometimes my humor comes back, but I'm consumed with worry about the physical
effects depression has on me. My gums are sensitive, my knees ache, I'm not exercising anymore and I worry about my heart and my breathing is weak. I feel very weak and dry and lonely.
Are all these things classic symptoms?
I need to crawl out of this deep hole but I'm still down. Recently I had suicidal thoughts which really scared me. Those thoughts have packed up and left for the most part and I feel a bit more positive.
Thanks for reading this introduction and I look forward to exploring this website.
BBB

derkderk
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 7:50 pm

Re: New Member Introduction

Postby derkderk » Sun May 12, 2019 12:00 am

I'm very sorry for your loss. About the depression you are experiencing, your symptoms sound "normal" for depression. A helpful way to think about it is depression tries to kill you. It does so by altering your perception toward negativity, shutting/slowing down your body functions, minor pains become major pains, daily tasks feel almost impossible, among other things. I'm interpreting your onset as mostly "situational" rather than "inherited". I believe both kinds are very similar aside from "situational" depressions can be treated more successfully with environmental and social changes.

The most helpful thing I believe I can say is sharing my mother's story. She has no significant mental illness, but she is a strong carrier (DNA). Her first child and third child had committed suicide. Along with other traumatic events, she had to make a decision when the depression was taking her down. She kept herself healthy even if it meant taking all day to do so. She set goals like swimming laps, but allowed for even just getting ready and getting to the pool but go home if she just couldn't swim. What she related that painful experience to was that poster of that cat hanging from a cloths line and and the words: "Hang in There". It was her positive attitude and mental strength that pulled her out. How she describes that period is: "I had to tell myself, that was my old life. Now I've re-born into a new life. I've severed the connection to then and I'm starting with a clean slate"

Tricks I've used myself was turning on more lights at night, brighten up the rooms. Try to do outdoor activities and sun can invigorate the mind to get more active. Think of something that can be rhythmic and calming, i.e. crochet, playing musical instrument, drawing/painting, etc.
And when things seem at their most bleak, go get yourself your favorite treat food (Hagen Das coffee flavored is mine) and watch a funny movie.


I hope you figure out what works.

BBB
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat May 11, 2019 2:20 pm

Re: New Member Introduction

Postby BBB » Sun May 12, 2019 3:46 pm

Thank you for your reply. You and your mother sound very resilient. You both have healthy coping strategies. I'm consumed with anxiety about everything especially what I'm missing out on and that I'm not able to participate normally in life.
I'm afraid all the time. The depression is depleting me of any reason to do anything.
I have good friends but I'm isolating myself because I feel so ugly. I know that is not what I should do. I'm in so much pain and can't get enough perspective to drag myself out. I just keep canceling social and medical appointments and just want to sleep and drink. I'm praying that I will find the strength to care again.

Socrateez
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun May 12, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: New Member Introduction

Postby Socrateez » Mon May 13, 2019 12:09 pm

Hi BBB,
I wonder about the weak breathing. It might be a good idea to have a check-up with your primary care provider just to
see if something else could also be causing some of these symptoms.

j2415
Posts: 50
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 am

Re: New Member Introduction

Postby j2415 » Mon May 13, 2019 12:49 pm

Hello- I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. I pray that God's comfort and peace be upon you and your family.

Please check with a therapist or you can also read articles in how to cope with depression. I hope you can get the help you need to get better. Please stay strong. I hope to hear from you again. Prayers for your Mom. God bless.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 81
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: New Member Introduction

Postby littlestarsmum » Tue May 14, 2019 1:10 am

Welcome to this forum, friend.
I’m very sorry to hear about your losses and struggles. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. Please don’t to be hard on yourself. Putting an end to your life is not the solution for your problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His love, peace, strength, and provide the help you need at this time. Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You can always come here to share and you have our support. Stay strong. Hugs!


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