depression in college

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_emmakkelly
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Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:17 pm

depression in college

Postby _emmakkelly » Sat Sep 15, 2018 3:41 pm

Last semester I was in an abusive relationship with a partner who wouldn't let me make other friends or hang out with anyone other than himself or people that he already knew. The friends I did make were through him, so when we broke up, I had no one. I've always struggled to be social especially dealing with all of the hurt I still had from my last relationship, but despite that I wanted to try to put myself out there and be mores social in my second year of college. I was proud of myself for going through sorority rush even though it was hard for me, hoping I would find a sense of belonging in a sorority that I had been lacking, but I was ultimately unhappy with the outcome. I was dropped by my top sororities and all of the other ones I even sort of liked, my bottom chapter being the only one that picked me back. I can't help but feel rejected and like there's something wrong with me and although the girls in my sorority are nice, I don't feel like I fit in at all. It's hard that my attempt to put myself out there didn't end the way I wanted it to and I don't think I could handle another rejection. I feel like I should try to get involved another way but I just feel like what's the point? No one is going to like me anyways so why should I put myself through the heartbreak. Social interaction for me is exhausting and often I just want to stay in my room and talk to nobody because I don't want to burden them. I feel trapped and incredibly lonely but unable to do anything about it, I wish someone would reach out and make me feel wanted. I've stopped eating almost all together and drink in excess because I can't help but feel that the way I look is part of the reason I get rejected. Going to the gym, classes, or motivating myself to even just get groceries all feel impossible, I feel lost and I need help.

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