I fail at everything

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lost-soul
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

I fail at everything

Postby lost-soul » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:19 am

Ive failed at finding a new job i would actualy enjoy.

Ive failed at college

Ive failed at trying to find a date

Ive failed at having sex at my first time and never had it again

Ive failed at having a good relationship with my siblings

Ive failed at having a good relationship with my parents and the majority of my family

Ive failed at trying to persue my dreams

Ive failed at socializing to meet new people

Ive failed at mannaging my emotions

Ive failed to be independent without some form of goverment assistance

Ive failed to merge with society with my mental disorders (particularly aspergers)

But most of all, ive failed at seeing any reason why i shouldnt go buy a gun and f****** end it all other than i dont make enough money to buy a fire arm and that im too scared to kill myself. Maybe a should save up my money to conquer my greatest fear, that way i dont have to deal with this shit anymore.

Nykky
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:45 pm

Re: I fail at everything

Postby Nykky » Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:44 pm

hy. sorry for asking but why do you think you failed?the fact that you don't have a job you enjoy is normal,most people can't accomplice they're dreams or have a job they love...you can find something to do that you don't feel uncomfortable doing and can make a living with it.it will not make you happy but at least you won't hate going to work every day...it is better than nothing...

about college,hmm.... how old are you?i know people that had been to college at 40-50 years old...if you have something that you wish to do it is not too late going to a college or professional school for it.

i have a hard time meeting new people too but that doesn't make us a failure.

i am not in a position were i can talk to you about your sex or family life since i do not know what happened but are you sure it is only your fault?that only you are to blame? you know that it takes 2 to tango right?
here is some advice if you don't mind:stop thinking about the bad things,stop saying that you failed, think about the good parts and find something that you like to do.

lost-soul
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

Re: I fail at everything

Postby lost-soul » Sun Jul 08, 2018 7:30 pm

Nykky wrote:hy. sorry for asking but why do you think you failed?the fact that you don't have a job you enjoy is normal,most people can't accomplice they're dreams or have a job they love...you can find something to do that you don't feel uncomfortable doing and can make a living with it.it will not make you happy but at least you won't hate going to work every day...it is better than nothing...

about college,hmm.... how old are you?i know people that had been to college at 40-50 years old...if you have something that you wish to do it is not too late going to a college or professional school for it.

i have a hard time meeting new people too but that doesn't make us a failure.

i am not in a position were i can talk to you about your sex or family life since i do not know what happened but are you sure it is only your fault?that only you are to blame? you know that it takes 2 to tango right?
here is some advice if you don't mind:stop thinking about the bad things,stop saying that you failed, think about the good parts and find something that you like to do.


Im 25 years old and id like to go into the tech field. Ill probably major in computer sciences to get a bachelors but i was majoring in something else before when i was alot younger. But i have doubts of ever succeding weather i have a degree or not because ive looked for a new job (entry level) before and nobody took me in. Plus i have trouble retaining stuff when learning new things at times.

I also would also like to note that my family is rather dysfunctional. I wont go into details as to why, but it wasnt really the best environment while growing up and my biological dad wasnt around while growing up after the divorce. Ill leave it at that. Plus im sure that the majprity of my family dont really have too much interest in being around me, particularly my siblings (who are adults). I try calling them but its usualy futile to get them to spend time with me. I get that we all get busy at times but it doesnt seem like they make the effort no matter how much i put into it.

And as far as my sex life. Ive only had sex ince with a friends with benefits but i performed terribly but at the age of 22 at the tine i wanted to lose my virginity really badly. I wanted to enjoy it but i just struggled on figuring out what to do and became flacid. Also the girl was known for sleeping around with quite a few people (luckily i dont have an std because of it) and she was attracted to me mainly because she wanted to take my virginity away as a let her. Big mistake, because after the bad sex i wasnt really seen as worthy by her after a while knowing her therefore putting down my self esteem even more.

Plus im not good at socializing mainly due to my aspergers. I never really know what to say to new people and i tend to have trouble keeping up a conversation. I also have trust issues with people because i have been financialy and emotionaly abused by my family. And ive always felt like an out cast to most people, especialy growing up in school.

But most of all, as i got older, the more i realize that nothing is ever worth it anymore, because in my perspective, if people f***** me over in the past, if my family doesnt want to see me, and if i cant be something worthy into peoples eyes no matter what i do, why the hell should i even care? I feel like my life is choosen for me, i work part time because of my anxiety levels and how quickly they can elevate, i live in a shitty low income apartment because its what i can afford, and i cant talk to people worth shit and lose motivation in everything. Id much rather go back to doing drugs like i did in high school because it at least made me feel good, my mind is already f***** up from mental disorders even prior to that anyhow. I dont enjoy the hobbies i like doing that much any more, i cant talk to my parents out side of a casual conversation because i simply dont want to talk to them about my feelings anymore due to how ineffective it is.

So my question to you is this. How did i not fail?

Beenthere1001
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 9:42 am

Re: I fail at everything

Postby Beenthere1001 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:56 pm

"The Critical Thinker: What matters most is how you see yourself", https://www.google.com/search?q=what+ma ... zuVcPGiDTM:

And/or sometimes, you have to fake it until you make it. Join some classes that help you with improving your confidence and speaking in public. You are so young. It's much easier to learn new things when you are still young.

I believe when you REALLY want something, you work hard for it, you will get it.

Nykky
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:45 pm

Re: I fail at everything

Postby Nykky » Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:26 am

i still don't think you failed....
You know what you want to do so just try it,it can't be bad for you just don't expect things to be easy.

About you sex life.... hmm...did you like her?or you were desperate and just went with it?try and find a nice girl that likes you and even if you fail the first time she won't bitch about it and just try again.Be cereful about selecting and you had a lot of luck not geting any std from that girl..

i am not sure how to say this without being misunderstood or just looking like a jerk but why do you depend so much on what other people see you as and on they're actions?do not be mad....i understand about you famlie becouse i come from a broken one too,we are also about the same age.

if you want to know how i dealt with it i can tell you but most of it is indifference...if they don't care about me why should i care about them?i started caring about myself more,nobody will come and ask if you have a problem or if you are oki than just help yourself.I am my own master,if i do not love myself and care for me how do i expect somebody else to do it?

You ca try to make some goals for yourself.Srart with something small,like what do you want to do,where do you want to go tomorrow or a week after,then go up from there,what do you need that you don't have and try and get it.
change is hard but you have to start from somewhere
Sorry for grammar errors i was in a hurry to write

lost-soul
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

Re: I fail at everything

Postby lost-soul » Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:10 pm

Nykky wrote:i still don't think you failed....
You know what you want to do so just try it,it can't be bad for you just don't expect things to be easy.

About you sex life.... hmm...did you like her?or you were desperate and just went with it?try and find a nice girl that likes you and even if you fail the first time she won't bitch about it and just try again.Be cereful about selecting and you had a lot of luck not geting any std from that girl..

i am not sure how to say this without being misunderstood or just looking like a jerk but why do you depend so much on what other people see you as and on they're actions?do not be mad....i understand about you famlie becouse i come from a broken one too,we are also about the same age.

if you want to know how i dealt with it i can tell you but most of it is indifference...if they don't care about me why should i care about them?i started caring about myself more,nobody will come and ask if you have a problem or if you are oki than just help yourself.I am my own master,if i do not love myself and care for me how do i expect somebody else to do it?

You ca try to make some goals for yourself.Srart with something small,like what do you want to do,where do you want to go tomorrow or a week after,then go up from there,what do you need that you don't have and try and get it.
change is hard but you have to start from somewhere
Sorry for grammar errors i was in a hurry to write


I guess i kinda habe a defeatest additude towards everything and that i tend to get way too emotionaly invested on how others would think of me, and i tend to hold a grudge on people alot more than i should. And yeah i thought i liked her at first but after time went on i kinda wished i never met her.

JackieJ
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:59 pm

Re: I fail at everything

Postby JackieJ » Mon Jul 09, 2018 4:29 pm

I am so sorry that you feel like a failure. I think it is very discouraging to continue to view everything that you have done as a failure if you look at things on the outside, instead of things on the inside. While there are many things that we can not change about ourselves... the family we come from, our IQ, etc... there are many areas that we can change and improve. Life is a journey of growth and change opportunities. I encourage you to pick one area of your life each year, that you would like to change...read books, take classes, seek therapy or support groups, and begin to take some steps to improve in those areas. There may also be social skills groups that are available for adults with Asperger Syndrome conducted by Speech-Language Pathologists. The most important aspect of life is developing your character, integrity, and being more kind and loving towards others. No matter what has happened in our past, we all have an amazing opportunity to develop in those areas. I pray that you will take the next step to improve your situation. You have more power than you think.


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