Depression Accountability – Wednesday

Everyday life. How was your day?

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Cactus.ly
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Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:45 pm

Depression Accountability – Wednesday

Postby Cactus.ly » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:40 pm

Hello Everyone,

I want to wish everyone a happier Wednesday, and hope that you will share what you accomplished today against the weight of depression.

I've had a rough start, trying not to think about all the fights to come. I wake up with that weight falling on me and not wanting to deal with it. A lot of ugliness in my professional and personal space. A lot of violation of person, then seeking assistance but only getting more ugliness thus feeling invisible. I cycle through resilience and power, but sadly, that just means when depression cycles back around is that much more powerful, to have broken my new, stronger, coping devices. I am sharing this for context about my relationship to depression...

I don't want someone to read this and think, "yeah, but s/he doesn't know how I feel." I have missed work and been evicted during a cycle of depression some years ago. I can probably imagine/empathize with your sadness. Share with me.

I did some draft work earlier for a few hours relevant to matters and to release some of that energy. About to get some breakfast and prepare a lunch/dinner to stay on track eating, even though I am no longer hungry. There is a presentation this afternoon that is on my calendar... I want to pass, but I will try not to think about it and go...Otherwise, I will just think about the fights to come and what I am not getting done. In this cycle of depression, I have been trying to imagine the things I would do if I were happy and then do them. It's not easy... I am not sure it has worked yet either, but it's an option.

Trying not to get too much in my head writing this and share too much. It helps to check in with others and reflect.

Now, I am late for breakfast.

If you don't feel like you've accomplished anything, what makes you smile (or even a little warm/heartened) to think about accomplishing?

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