Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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I don't even know where to begin. 2 years ago my ex-husband cheated on me with a guy and left me for him. I had no choice but to move home cuz I was in school and could not afford to live on my own. Fast forward to December of 2017 my mom lost her house and I had to move in with my sister. Well I still live with her for the moment and stuff here is hard. If something breaks they blame me. If something goes missing they blame me. The other night I came home from work they were sitting in the living room and she started talking to me so I asked my brother-in-law a question and she told me to shut the f up. I walked down the hallway to pick up my cat and she was fussing because I picked her up she didn't told me to put my cat down cuz they were trying to talk. I told her no that's my cat then I'll just go in my room and shut up. She said that was a van tastic idea to go to my room and shut the f******up. This all makes me feel unwanted makes me feel not needed makes me feel like a burden. And when they do this it makes me not want to be here makes me feel like they would be better off without me. I have no one to talk to you about this no one understands. And I do everything for them. Take the kids to school pick up their kids babysit their kids feed them. I changed my work schedule so I can babysit my nieces but it's not good enough I'm still a screw up. They just don't understand how they make me feel how like everything is my fault. And yes I know it's not but when you're being screamed at that I use too much toilet paper or that I flooded the tub just don't know what else to do.
I am so sorry for you are dealing with such a difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens, and venting. In spite of this situation let me tell you that you are an important, valuable person and worth of dignity and respect. You may be have a hard time believing this, but that doesn’t disqualify you from being loved and valued for exactly who you are. It seems that you have the answers for this situation. Have you thought of looking for one bedroom efficiency ‘no apartments’? Perhaps efficiency might be affordable for you to live while you are working and studying. It is wonderful that you want to help your relatives but marriages and families need their own space and privacy. It is possible that the relationship with your relatives will improve when you start to live apart. Lastly, have you considered forgiving your husband, your relatives, yourself and situations? Forgiveness is the first step of change and healing. It does not mean that they did is right but means that you let the problem go. Forgiveness will restore your peace and joy. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend- Keep us posted, Ok?
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