How do I deal with depression?

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arayyahoward
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue May 15, 2018 4:11 am

How do I deal with depression?

Postby arayyahoward » Tue May 15, 2018 5:14 am

I’ve been battling with depression for two weeks now. My dad who have been my greatest hero passed the veil and left the mortal life. I feel like a part of me is empty. I don’t have someone to talk to now, I don’t have someone who will comfort me when I’m in big trouble. I feel lost to this very cruel world. I feel so alone and lonely. I feel like the world is beating on me. I’ve been crying for days, many sleepless nights and tiring days. How do I deal with depression? I already asked for help to some of my friends, but none of them is helpful, even looked on testimonials in a foreign page about fighting depression but still, no effect on me. I need your help.

Peacebwu2017
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:11 pm

Re: How do I deal with depression?

Postby Peacebwu2017 » Tue May 15, 2018 8:08 pm

I am so sorry you lost your dad! I too lost my dad 11 years ago. It was the most incredibly hard times of my life. At the time he passed I also lost my grandma to Alzheimer. The only two people I could count on to listen to my woes, give me wisdom and support. I was so very angry and questioned a ton of things with my faith. I felt incredibly alone and depressed. What I have learned is that all of this that you mention is grief. Grief can show up in any form on any day in any way. We all go through it in our own unique way. I also learned in life that no matter how many people surround you in times of pain there's really no comfort we can get from any human that will completely lift these moments of pain. Pain is a season. I didn't want to go through this season, all though it's inevitable. The one thing we are guaranteed in this life is that we will all face the reality that our life on this earth is temporary. It took a hard road to realize that I was leaning on two people in this world for my strength rather than realizing how much strength and incredible hope I have in and of myself. It was hard to recognize the beauty from the ashes that it was necessary for me to go through that lonely season to learn how to find myself in a way I never would with them there. When I had them to lean on I was stuck in a cycle of dependency and negativeness.
I don't know what beauty and epiphanies will come from your season. I can say, with all certainty, you are not alone! You are ok and will get through this!
I found a few things very helpful in grief...1. emotions are high and they tend to overcast our ability to think and remember things in the short term. Make lists and take notes even if it seems like the most ridiculous easy to remember task. This saved my bacon at work! 2. Allow the waves of emotions to flow in whatever way they may. Anger visits ride it...take a long walk, lock yourself in your bedroom and scream and cry. If deep sorrow visits let it. Feel the deep hole in your chest that you can feel in the pit of your stomach. Let it burn and allow your mind to remember the great moments you had with your dad. Allow joy in whatever way you can. It's ok for you to still feel sad, and angry and enjoy life. Your dad would want you to go on enjoying your life. Don't allow guilt and any other confusion that you should feel bad come in. It's a time to take guard of your thoughts. If there's any negative self thoughts address them. If there's anything coming up for you that's showing things you may need to heal or work on...then do the best you can to address them. 3. Be gracious to yourself. This isn't a time to be super human and do every aspect of your life well. This is self preservation time. A time to rest as much as you can. Insomnia is normal but all the more reason you want to practice good self-care. 5. Feed yourself like a clock even if it means you need to eat tiny small meals. Shoot for healthy balanced eating with rainbow colors every day along with healthy fat and protein at every meal. 6. Exercise even if it means taking an easy walk. I found my most healing moments taking my breaks at work walking outside. Even if you have to walk around the parking lot. Getting outside, getting endorphins working, and creating a healthy space to care for yourself when you don't feel like it does wonders. 7. Cry when you need to. Life feels heavy some moments and tears are healing. Hide away in a bathroom stahl if you have to and let some tears flow.
This will pass. It might take months to a year. Eventually we figure out how to go on with our lives. We never forget our loved ones and we miss them just as deeply as the day we lost them from time to time but we find if we will allow those waves to come they are shorter and quicker to allow us to bounce back. Big hugs!!! Hang on to the hope this is all normal and you are going to have the life worth living. This is a season.

catch_the_music
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:01 am

Re: How do I deal with depression?

Postby catch_the_music » Tue May 22, 2018 9:39 am

I am sorry for the loss of your dad. I lost my dad too awhile back. I still miss him. He was that person who encouraged and equipped me to stand on my own two feet and take on the world around me. Perhaps you feel the same way about your dad. Dads are hugely important people in our lives. One thing I found was even though my dad is no longer on this earth - I still have great memories of him. I can still think about the good times that we had. I can still think about how he made things seem ok - even when I messed up bad. I can remember the values that he taught me to live by. By focusing on the good things my dad brought to my life - I feel like my dad is still with me. I try to thank him often in my mind.
One thing that I did that helped me after my dad's passing was to join a Griefshare group at my church. It was a support group of several other people who had just lost a loved one. It was good to share stories about my dad's passing and learn then from other peoples loss as well. The support of others was really important.
I hope you can find a support group in your area. God Bless!


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