Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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Have you talked about it with your mom? Seeing something like that is very traumatic and definitely leaves an imprint of that situation in your brain. Just because you think about it doesn't mean you are going to do it. Right now you are admitting to yourself that you know it would be wrong to do this. If you know it's wrong, you need to convince yourself and assure yourself that you are a better person to act on this impulse. It is going to be a lot worse to deal with the thoughts you will have after you do something like this then it is to deal with the thoughts of POSSIBLY doing this. Once you do something like this, those memories of what you did will haunt you forever. It's easier just to deal with the fact that you have these thoughts and figure out why you are having them.
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