Feeling so confused

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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RainyDay
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:54 am

Feeling so confused

Postby RainyDay » Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:38 pm

I am a lesbian, a truth even I don't want to admit. I took forever to come out and now it seems to roll off my tongue so easily but it burns too. Sometimes I feel like the only gay person who hates the fact that they are gay. It's hard to balance self hatred for who you have grown up to be despite best efforts from mom and dad with the life I'm supposed to live. How do you stick to your christian morals knowing that most of your religion condemns you? Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong body but what could I ever do about it honestly? Yeah there are FTM success stories but I'm lonely as is, should I further alienate myself from love and the family members I'd lose transitioning. I don't know what I want I just know I'm sick of the depression. Working is impossible, truly a mountain to climb everyday. As a young adult I feel more lost than ever before. I'm afraid to become my father, reclusive and never leave the house. I don't want my life to be a repeat of his but everything I do seems like paths to the inevitable future. Though my father is gone aside of all the grief and loss sometimes I feel the way he lived haunts me into being terrified of whats to come. I just don't know how to live a healthy life. I don't want to hate myself and I don't want to feel alone anymore.

jennypa
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 6:22 am

Re: Feeling so confused

Postby jennypa » Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:36 pm

Hi RainyDay,

I know how hard it must feel for you to feel this way but this much I can tell you, YOU are NOT a repeat of anyone. Tell yourself that everyday. You are the pilot of your life. You can be whomever you wish to be. You are destined for greatness.

jennypa

CamGirl
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Feeling so confused

Postby CamGirl » Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:29 am

RainyDay wrote:I am a lesbian, a truth even I don't want to admit. I took forever to come out and now it seems to roll off my tongue so easily but it burns too. Sometimes I feel like the only gay person who hates the fact that they are gay. It's hard to balance self hatred for who you have grown up to be despite best efforts from mom and dad with the life I'm supposed to live. How do you stick to your christian morals knowing that most of your religion condemns you? Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong body but what could I ever do about it honestly? Yeah there are FTM success stories but I'm lonely as is, should I further alienate myself from love and the family members I'd lose transitioning. I don't know what I want I just know I'm sick of the depression. Working is impossible, truly a mountain to climb everyday. As a young adult I feel more lost than ever before. I'm afraid to become my father, reclusive and never leave the house. I don't want my life to be a repeat of his but everything I do seems like paths to the inevitable future. Though my father is gone aside of all the grief and loss sometimes I feel the way he lived haunts me into being terrified of whats to come. I just don't know how to live a healthy life. I don't want to hate myself and I don't want to feel alone anymore.


Don't feel depressed about who you really are. Each one of us is unique. No one is perfect as long as you are not hurting anyone and you have a good heart then you are blessed. Stay strong and positive.

CamilaWillaims
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:45 am
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Feeling so confused

Postby CamilaWillaims » Fri Sep 21, 2018 6:50 am

Don't feel bad dear everyone had unique personality and unique by there own way and everyone is special who cares what you are .You are lesbian it's not a crime you have a right to live your life by your own way.

BillR1965
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:14 pm

Re: Feeling so confused

Postby BillR1965 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:24 am

Can I suggest you change your focus slightly regarding Christianity? The Gospel in its condensed form is found in John 13:34 where Jesus gave us our true mission: "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Everything else in the bible is subordinate to that commandment. God made you the way you are for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but there is a reason. Be as loving as you can be. That is what God wants of you. WWJD - What would Jesus do? He is your model, not anything else.

Regarding the word sin - it is not about eternal damnation, it is about falling short of God's ideal. The term sin comes from archery and it means "missing the mark". You didn't hit bullseye. No big deal. Pick up the bow and shoot again. Try to be more loving. Read the Gospels and see how Jesus loved and lived His life. He would take time, separate Himself from others and get in communion with God. He had high expectations of His friends, but He was kind and compassionate when they fell short. He served others. Have your own relationship with God. Don't rely on others interpretation of God and the bible.

Good luck. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


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