I Miss

Poetry, short stories, paintings, photography, songs – art of all genres.

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Turtle
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:04 am

I Miss

Postby Turtle » Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:28 pm

I miss the way you use to kiss me
And the way you made me feel
I miss the way you would hold me
As if I was a steal
I miss the laughter we shared together
And all the smiles too
I miss the way you use to look at me
Like I was the only person in the world you wanted to woo
I miss the way our hands laced up
As perfectly as can be
I miss the way you made me smile
You didn't even need to go the extra mile
I miss the sound of your sweet voice
Especially the way you said, "I love you."
And I miss so much more about you
That I would love to say
But I'll stop right here for now
In hopes you'll come back to me one day.
-T

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Fri Jan 02, 2015 4:13 pm

Turtle this is not a grammar flame ...

The two lines you have:

I miss the way you use to kiss me

I miss the way you use to look at me

resonated with me. After my breakups 30 plus years ago I often felt "used". What I've learned in my 28 years of marriage is that this feeling is half illusion and half reality. I do things for my wife that I kind of resent because it makes her feel better than it makes me feel worse. She does similar things for me. When we fight some of these things get declared ... the message being that neither of us is appreciative enough of the other.

I miss the way you use. To kiss me.
I miss the way you use. To look at me.

Expresses that appreciation in the past tense ... as regret.

for me the poem ended at the line
"As perfectly as can be".

The sentiment expressed in the last lines:

I miss the way you made me smile
You didn't even need to go the extra mile
I miss the sound of your sweet voice
Especially the way you said, "I love you."
And I miss so much more about you
That I would love to say
But I'll stop right here for now
In hopes you'll come back to me one day.

Makes me cringe. This is based on all those breakups 30 plus years ago too. For those breakups I think the women were confused by the difference between my appearance and myself. I found that dating lasted about 90 days and then the woman would break up with me and I would spend another 90 to 180 days grieving before moving on. My wife and I fought often during our courtship. I think this was because I had committed myself to a life of self-deprivation to prove self-discipline. I needed to have a spiritual reward before I would spend money. I expressed this to my wife as "I am going to save 1 million dollars before I'm 40 and then I'm going to quit." My brother-in-law got this in the early 90s I think. We discussed a book called "The millionaire next door." That talked about accruing wealth by living simply


I am in my mid 50s now. I hope to have my million dollars in 6 more years or so through the miracle of compound interest and tax deferred savings ... just like 401Ks are supposed to work. I'm not sure that a million is all that ... but it is still enough to supplement social security and not have to touch the principle...

My wife has spent our marriage joking about how cheap I am, but never spending money that we didn't agree need to be spent. There were some bitter fights for her there :roll:

I think the basis of our happiness would be her saying:

I miss the way you use. To kiss me.
I miss the way you use. To look at me.

Because monetarily we have never lived in the moment ... Her friends have nicer houses, nicer cars, newer kitchens, etc.

But after 28 years we know our mutual boundaries and sensitive issues. I think we did use each other to get up the hill ... and now we are both relaxing on the way down.

I am writing this because a theme in our marriage has been "He's a poop." when it came to spending money and "She's a poop." When it came to saying "Hey, y'all watch this!" I have done many stupid things, but nothing fatal or crippling because I never wanted to do anything that depended 100% on my capabilities and good luck ... We used each other for each others betterment.

I think the basis of this understanding is different then the romance in the last eight lines of your poem. I'm not denying that romance exists ... fully 1/3 of our friends who came to our wedding are still together. :lol: And I know that they believe in romance ... because they get both of us ... me as cheap, and her as a worrier ... and think we belong together.

Thanks for the poem.

SkaterDrew
Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:55 pm

Postby SkaterDrew » Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:38 pm

Thanks for sharing. It's really nice. Well done. :)

Sumer
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2015 7:39 am
Location: Canada

Postby Sumer » Sat Jan 24, 2015 7:41 am

This is gorgeous....
It is how I used to feel about my ex-husband, when I thought he was The One.
I hope to find a man who actually means it and will stay with me 'till death do us part'
Keep on writing - you are very good at it!
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