breaking the silence (triggering material)

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Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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breaking the silence (triggering material)

Postby Obayan » Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:40 am

(This is the preface to my new book I'm currently working on.....)

My earlierst memory is of me as a very small child sittin on the floor holding myh head between my hands. It's an old house, but familiar.... The people htat live here are not my family but somehow, it seems.. right.

I'm standing in the kitchen on a stool, drying the dishes Cora is washing. There's no words. No sounds. Just the water and the plates as they klink together as i stack them. There's never any noise. It's not allowed. The door opens to the front of the house. I get off the stool to see who it is. This long hallways is in front of me. Long and dark, with a bright light of fire at the end. I can hear footsteps and I am afraid. Noise! Steps that echo. Cora will hear it! She'll get angry! Oh god make the noise stop! Don't let Cora get angry. It hurts so much when she's angry. The fear is almost blinding. But then I see th elady that is making this horrible noise in Cora's hallway. Tall and slender and dressed in very nice clothes. Long thin arms and bright red hair. Her skin is so white! Is this a ghost? An angel? She's so beautiful. Someone that pretty must be nice. Maybe she'll see me and she'll love me and take me to her big house with lots of animals to play with and I can be her little girl! She has t osee me! How can she love me if she doesn't see me? I run down the hallways and wrap my arms around the beautiful lady's leggs. I hear Cora laughing behind me. The pretty lady smiles down at me. She must be an angel. She takes my arms in her hands. I'm falling. I'm falling backwards. My head hurts. I hit it on the wall. The angel had shoved me into the wall. Why would an angel hurt me? So, even God's angels don't love me. And why should she?

This is my earliest memory. Vivid. Emotional. Perfect clarity. This is how I met my mother. The woman who carried me for 9 months in her womb and gave birth to me on a cold winter day in Janurary. The woman who gave me away to monsters and sentenced me to a life of pain and despair. Guess what mother.... I survived. I'm all grown up now. And the whole world is going to find out what happened to that desperate little girl laying on that dark hallways floor.

I'm breaking the silence.

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crystalgaze
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Postby crystalgaze » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:20 am

I guess you continued writing??

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:14 pm

Actually, I had to stop.

1. it became too hard.
2. i had a new grandbaby on the way and a very sick daughter.
3. there's just so much other stuff going on it's becoming very easy to find excuses why NOT to work on it.

Hopefully, I'll get back to it. but for now, I just can't.


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