I need feedback before I send this

[Qualtector]

Dear Nobody,
Don't know quite how to put this so I'll just get down to it I suppose. For a long time now I've been feeling really down, I constantly find fault in myself and feel worthless all the time. I'm always tired even though I sleep a lot but I don't think I'm actually sleeping, more like blacking out for hours on end. It literally feels like I blink and hours pass by in an instant. I don't feel rested at all. I feel alone even when I'm in a crowded room, or when I'm talking to people around me and not even being around the one I love stops that feeling of loneliness.
I sometimes don't feel hungry at all, then at other times I never feel full even though I'm physically feeling ill from overeating, I just don't feel like I'm full even when I know I am. I keep getting headaches which sort of throb above my left eyebrow and in my forehead and fuzz my sight in that eye because I kind of wince. I get the headaches when I try to concentrate (which I find almost impossible most days) or remember something and whatever I do I just can't get the headaches to go away without just waiting them out and letting them die down on their own.
I can never decide on anything without spending hours on end considering each option in detail, which is exceedingly difficult. I don't find myself interested in anything anymore, I keep trying to find something I enjoy but I just end up pretending to enjoy myself to those around me, and when I'm alone I just continue on like a zombie. I feel completely disconnected from the world, and blank and emotionless most of the time.
When I do think it's mostly about hating myself or other people hating me. I can sit for hours just thinking about such things, or ways of removing myself from the world. I visualise ways of dying and consider the drawbacks of each and every method. Though I don't attempt to die.
I've been this way for a very long time and even though I'm pretty much used to it, I want to get rid of it so I can just get on with being me rather than constantly ignoring myself just to get through the day and be there for other people.

Regards,
Qualtector






Is this alright or could I word it better? It's important, I don't want the person I send this to to think I'm not serious or that I'm crazy.

[shatteredhopes]

I could relate to much of what you wrote in the letter. Honestly, I think it depends who you are sending it to and what your purpose in sending it is. While I and others on this forum may relate, someone who has not experienced the things you describe may be scared, confused, want to back away...or just not understand. It is hard to convey to someone who hasn't experienced something like what you describe. If it is a mental health professional you are sending it to, however, I think it puts it nicely.

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[Obayan]

I'm not sure what type of a response you are wanting from the person you are sending this to, but don't be upset if you get no response at all. You simply made a statement of how you feel. You gave no indication that you even want a response much less what kind of a response you desire.
ps... stop peaking at my diary! You just described me to a t