Gone to pot

[Meier]

I went to the doctors on wednesday....
before i did i was xmas shopping and i felt terrible just...i donno....

When i was waiting at the doctors to be seen, my fiance rang me..i answered and told her that im at the doctors....
the doctor was chinese or japanese, and he gave me a questionaire.. i filled it in with all top marks...he said "do you want to die? how do you want to die?" i felt terrible then i felt like i was a mental paitent i just wanted to cry and kill myself.... well i got perscribed with Citalopram 10mg...he said come back in 8 weeks but he only gave me enough for a month...My fiance keep pushing because she was worried so i told her why i went to the doctors..and she screamed at me and i felt like i done something wrong...she said that im giving up...but im not am i? im even more confused about myself than anything, i've emailed her what i said to everyone here....My net is down and the medication my god...dizzyness, feeling faint, feeling sick, shaking, not being able to sleep suicidal thoughts (twisted thoughts) and other things.....i..i.....just forget it.....

[Mich]

I am worried about you. If that medication is intensifying your suicidal thoughts, you need to get back to the doctor or hospital. You need to keep yourself safe and if that means going to the hospital, then that's what you need to do.

[TackingIntoTheWind]

I would suggest going back to see your GP. It may be that Citalopram isn't the medication for you. Or, it's possible that you're suffering initial side-effects of a medication that might help you after you get through the side-effects.
My GP tried me on Citalopram, but it made me sleepy all the time. So,I ended up taking Prozac. I had quite pronounced side-effects of dizziness, nausea, faintness etc, but now that I'm through the side-effects, I think it's helping.
Or as Mich said, it may be that Citalopram is worsening your depression. I'd really go back for another consultation with your GP. It's not giving up to get the help that you need, and that may well include medication.
Good luck!

[xn728]

your not giving up at all Meier ,your in that confusing part of deppression ,when
meds are not working yet ,or at all ,if you feel suicidal ,it should be a
phychiarist you see and not just the gp ,,these are good people who have
a better understandind of how you feel ,ive had many meds ,and have cryed many times with frustration when they have failed ,its a hard fight
but you must be strong and speak freely to these people so you can get help ,my meds keep me stable now ,please stick with it ,use the support
of the forum ,if i could take your pain for a few days while you rested i surely would ,,,we care for you here ,and share your pain ,you will find
what you need one day im sure ,,,reach out and i will take your arm and
steady you ,so you dont stumble and fall ,,,,,,,,,bless you ,,,,,xn728

[Meier]

thanks everyone for the comments *hugs everyone* i emailed my fiance everythin at the library the other day. net still not workin... im really lonely my fiance is pretendin that im fine etc.....just no one wants to talk to me and i can access this site on my phone.. i got msn and yahoo messenger on my phone....if anyone has either of them... please pm me.....

[aim]

Hi Meier - sounds like that doctor is not doing right by you. Have you thought about finding a new doctor?

And your fiancee... I'm sure she loves you or she would not be marrying you, right!?! It's just so difficult for people who have never been depressed to even begin to comprehend depression and what it does to a person.

Have you ever given your fiancee literature to read on depression? It can be a helpful and powerful tool for both of you.

Good luck!