Depression Understood Forums

Things were really bad, so a few years ago, I made a deal with myself. I told myself I could follow through on my suicidal thoughts if things got really bad--but first, I had to publish my first book. For many dark years, that singular goal was the thing that kept me going when all the exercise, diet, herbal antidepressants, and therapy couldn't.

Well, I finally published the book. It was nominated for several awards, but now it's largely forgotten, and my agent is gone. There's a part of me that feels like I did what God intended for me, with the gift I was given, and now I have no other purpose left.

Hi, I like the deal you made you're an author now
Maybe try to think of the solution that would get rid of the thing that makes your life that terrible...you've certainly done it not once or twice, but maybe there really is something that can be done. You have nothing to lose - you are thinking of committing suicide, anyway.

Would be nice to read your book (if its not too long , or at least give it a try).

Sorry to hear you saying "theres not other purpose", im bad with this thing of purposes, to me just wake up and know i have coffee its my purpose, and im very good with it. But seems you like "high goals", like with your book, you can try to overcome yourself, thinking a new book, if this is possible.. or things related to your fields.

Lately ive been really getting into films,, maybe you can try to sell your book to as a plot for a film, if this is possible, dont know about what is your book.

Good luck.