I honestly don't know
Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 2:59 am
I honestly don't know what I'm about to write, I just know that I need to let everything out. I've held it in for much too long. I wanna scream, cry, break things, punch walls, break down... I'm never hungry anymore.. No matter how much I sleep, I still wake up tired, I still hate waking up in the mornings. Honestly some days its so hard to find the motivation to get out of bed anymore.
It's weird-during the day, when I'm around people, I can laugh, and I can smile and joke around like I don't have a care in the world. Like everything is really okay. But the second I'm alone, the smiles and laughs are gone.. but maybe that's because when I'm around people, I have a reason to act happy. Because I can't let them down. Ive become this person everyone relies on. I've become so many peoples anchor that I have no choice but to look strong. But when I'm alone there's no need for that. I don't have anyone to look strong for in that moment so my walls crumble and it's just me and the thoughts. The thoughts that always seem to suffocate me, never letting me breath. I don't know what to do
It's weird-during the day, when I'm around people, I can laugh, and I can smile and joke around like I don't have a care in the world. Like everything is really okay. But the second I'm alone, the smiles and laughs are gone.. but maybe that's because when I'm around people, I have a reason to act happy. Because I can't let them down. Ive become this person everyone relies on. I've become so many peoples anchor that I have no choice but to look strong. But when I'm alone there's no need for that. I don't have anyone to look strong for in that moment so my walls crumble and it's just me and the thoughts. The thoughts that always seem to suffocate me, never letting me breath. I don't know what to do