I can't do this anymore....

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Dayfly
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:02 am

I can't do this anymore....

Postby Dayfly » Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:14 am

I'm sorry I don't even know if I'm posting in the right place....but I just don't know what to do anymore.
My life is a mess and pointless...over the past 2/3 years so many people I cared about have turned their back on me or even my my life a living hell...the things and places (good things) that used to keep me somewhat distracted from the hell that is my life are now gone, taken away from me by the people who were my so called friends...
The last 2 years it's just been one thing after another, it just keeps getting worse and worse. I'm sure I've cried myself to sleep every night.
I just want to end it all, I just wish I had the guts to do it and selfish enough not to feel guilty about how much pain is put my family through...

Ks81072
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:25 am

Postby Ks81072 » Wed Apr 27, 2016 11:29 am

I completely understand where you're coming from.....You wonder "what else could possibly turn to shit?" and the universe seems to take it as a challenge. I've also felt the desire to end it, OFTEN. It's not so much wanting to be gone, it's wanting to stop feeling so horrible...In my case, what stops me is the fear that I'd screw that up too....I wish I had some brilliant words of wisdom, but I'm just as screwed up and lost....I guess if there's anything I could say, it would be that you're not alone...I know that doesn't seem like much.

Dayfly
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:02 am

Postby Dayfly » Wed May 04, 2016 2:22 pm

It just gets worse never better...I can't stop crying...I know there's only one way out of this and it's scary
I'm not a good person but I've put everyone before myself always sacrificed for others and I'm the one left alone now. The selfish ones get what they want and don't care how they treat people around them.
My sister has bulimia and depression (takes anti depressants) and she regularly has these violent episodes and takes it out on her family is now getting married! Hides the disorder and depression from her boyfriend! How the hell is this not going to end badly! She doesn't even care about anyone but herself, yet she's making our parents even sicker with her behavior.
With all this happening, I meanwhile hide my depression and pain but all I want to do is work out a way of killing myself. And to add to my already full head I just keep thinking that my poor parents don't need more pain but my pain is slowly killing me

Ks81072
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:25 am

Postby Ks81072 » Thu May 05, 2016 1:05 pm

I don't have answers, unfortunately.....I battle with my demons every day. But don't tell yourself that you're not a good person. NO ONE is beyond redemption. I would suggest getting into some therapy and perhaps some medication....I know that sounds cliche, but it seems to have helped, however little, for me.....I'll say it again. You are not alone. Every person on the planet has done things they wish they could change or take back. The ones who claim they haven't are lying to themselves. What's done is done. You can't change yesterday, but you can decide to be better tomorrow. More cliches, but it's true. I sincerely hope that you can find some ray of hope to keep you going, because if you choose to check out, you eliminate ANY chance of things ever getting better.

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Wed May 11, 2016 9:55 am

KS81072 & Dayfly,

This is so profound, It encapsulates what I often try to say:

I know that sounds cliche, but it seems to have helped, however little, for me.....I'll say it again. You are not alone


In another post I compared each individual's post to a ship's course. I view an initial introduction as a call for location, or sometimes even an SOS. The replies here are like lighthouses, or ships passing in the night.

All we do here is share our experiences. When you're lost that doesn't feel like enough. I imagine I'm trying to find a house in a city, and all I can do is describe the neighborhood. I keep asking strangers and they say well, that reminds me of this neighborhood or that and give you directions. No one can take you to where you want to go. That is your journey, but we can be here to say "You are not alone."

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viuuiuvy
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2016 2:29 pm
Location: Pontoon Beach, Illinois

Re:

Postby viuuiuvy » Thu Jun 16, 2016 11:42 am

100footpole wrote:KS81072 & Dayfly,

This is so profound, It encapsulates what I often try to say:

I know that sounds cliche, but it seems to have helped, however little, for me.....I'll say it again. You are not alone


In another post I compared each individual's post to a ship's course. I view an initial introduction as a call for location, or sometimes even an SOS. The replies here are like lighthouses, or ships passing in the night.

All we do here is share our experiences. When you're lost that doesn't feel like enough. I imagine I'm trying to find a house in a city, and all I can do is describe the neighborhood. I keep asking strangers and they say well, that reminds me of this neighborhood or that and give you directions. No one can take you to where you want to go. That is your journey, but we can be here to say "You are not alone."



Very good point indeed. No one is alone in this battle with depression & only time can tell.......

:D

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: I can't do this anymore....

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:07 pm

I'm sorry to hear what's been going on in your life. Does sound alot what you are going through and very stressful at the same time, I'm sure. You have the right to feel the way you wanna feel. You been put through your paces and dealt with more then you could possibly cope with.

I'm just trying to understand why people want to have a go at you. Everything you mentioned makes sense. There's nothing from what it sounds like you may of done or did wrong. That's why it's got alot to do with the people around you.

I know it don't make sense right now. Life don't make sense at the most important times and feeling trapped is a common issue what we experience but everything you spoke about sounds very like what most people have or are going through.

It's about time you start taking back the control you once had. Give yourself space from others and reevaluate the goings on. Make the impossible, possible. Ask yourself the questions what's bothering you then go about it in a assertive way. It's all about practice!

Remember you can't give up. You got to be patience and not lose focus. This isn't an over night thing. It will take time to get the control and appreciation what others think of you back in your life. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve better and can do better. Rethink about those words and actions. That's all it is.

We're here aswell to talk to and listen. Don't lose hope from us.

Good Luck.


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