There has to be someone else that's going through this too

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sprezzatura87
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:43 am
Location: United States- Northern Plains

There has to be someone else that's going through this too

Postby sprezzatura87 » Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:11 am

I'm just writing on here, to see if anyone else is dealing with what I am, and if so, how do they deal with it, and is there a name for it.

For nearly four years, I've been experiencing these fits of hysterical crying and nearly uncontrollable talking- they're awful, from panicked wailing and whimpering to top of my lungs screeching. It only really happens when I feel like I've let someone down by doing something carelessly or wrong, so it doesn't happen when I'm on my own. After dealing with this for years, I can get myself to calm down by going by myself, but I know it's going to come back, and fairly soon, usually within a few weeks if I'm lucky, sometimes as soon as a few days. Also, I get this feeling like I'm terrified to be alone at the time, so that makes it hard to excuse myself. It only happens when I'm at home, luckily not in public. I'm twenty-eight years old, I don't care, it's not a normal thing to keep happening.

So I thought, must be a panic attack of some kind, but I've read about them, and it really doesn't feel like how those are described. My family says it's almost like a kid throwing a tantrum, and they don't seem to believe me that I feel like I can't control it, so I looked into adult tantrums and intermittent explosive disorder- but those all sound like they come from anger and frustration- I'm not angry when this happens, I feel humiliated and hopeless and desperate, not angry. Besides, all the info about that seems to be to help family members calm down an adult tantrum thrower- there's nothing about calming YOURSELF down during an adult tantrum- besides, my family is so thoroughly disgusted when I do the fits, they sure aren't going to do anything to calm me down. But there's got to be something that describes what I'm going through- I know this isn't a normal thing, I know my friends aren't sitting at home hysterically crying, their horrified family cowering and pleading for them to stop. To be honest, what does make me angry is that usually there is a term for something that keeps specifically happening over a long term, and said thing doesn't feel at all manageable, but there doesn't seem to be any term for what I'm dealing with. Do other people feel the same way I do all the time, but they just instinctively know how to manage it, and I don't?

So yeah, not panic attack, not angry so not a tantrum, yet feel very little control when it happens, and no control at all about making it stop happening. I'm sorry about the length of this post, but does this happen to anyone else on here? Or does this ring a bell for anyone?

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Tue Apr 26, 2016 10:25 am

The brain is a weird thing.

I think of brains as kind of like plants. Read a little about the DSM-IV and DSM-5. Drs. don't agree on how to treat behaviors, but they get together and create criteria for labeling types of behavior they have seen and compile those into the DSM with recommendations for treatment.

So, my thoughts for you and your family is to see if you can go to a professional who will help you put a DSM code on what you're feeling/doing. After that they will prescribe treatments.

Keep in mind that homosexuality used to be part of the DSM. It sounds like you are comfortable with your "tantrum" / "panic attack" in that you have enough control over the behavior that it only happens in a "safe place". That being said when you say:

I know this isn't a normal thing, I know my friends aren't sitting at home hysterically crying, their horrified family cowering and pleading for them to stop.


I worry about your family. Once you have a diagnosis you can decide what kind of treatment you are comfortable with. What I took from your note is that you fear that you are unique ... And you are unique like a snowflake, but the DSM provides a way to say this is the percentage of snowflakes like you, and this is how collections of these types of snowflakes act.

Jesusgirl04
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 01, 2016 10:42 pm

Postby Jesusgirl04 » Sun May 01, 2016 10:44 pm

So the good news is this; you recognize that there is a problem. Often times, people deny problems exist even in the face of overwhelming evidence. My education is in mental health and I spent quite a few years working on an inpatient psychiatric unit and as a dual-diagnosis counselor for people with addictions and mental health issues. So I have a few thoughts. One; you NEED to consult with a mental health professional, your pastor, or other trusted professional. DO NOT rely on the advice of friends, family, internet groups (even this thread), etc. You need a thorough evaluation before moving forward. Second; while the symptomology may not fit any one category perfectly, what you are describing does have aspects of panic. What this does mean is that you will need to be prepared for a lot of hard work to overcome this vicious cycle you have fallen into as you must learn to identify the triggers and deal with them in a "normal" and healthy way. I say all this VERY cautiously and you should not take this as a diagnosis of any kind but simply as an observation and suggestion from someone who has experience in this field. Someone else may take exactly the same information and get an entirely different picture. Third, while it may seem overwhelming to you now, I do have a couple suggestions. Get a notepad and start keeping detailed notes about when and under what circumstances this is occurring. This will suggest a pattern that will help you form a plan on how to help control these episodes in the future. Look up relaxation techniques and begin to practice these, especially deep breathing exercises and muscle relaxation. These help to "trick" the mind into being more relaxed than it thinks it is and in return the brain begins to send signals to the body to relax. Next, begin to plan out in advance some strategies for calming yourself when this does happen. One thing that is particularly effective is to stop yourself physically and literally ask yourself this question, "is my response reasonable and logical for the given circumstances?" If you can answer yes, then by all means, continue your "tantrum", but if the answer is no (which you suspect it will be), this is often the trigger it will take to rationally calm yourself down. I congratulate you on beginning your journey to wellness. It's not easy being where you are, but there is hope and an end. I wish you great success!


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