Nasty accident is making me fall into old habits

[sianmcpartland]

So I am new to this kind of thing but I'm just desperately looking for some advice.
I am 17 and in my first year of sixth form. I've been suffering from depression since I was ten and although recently I have been much better, over the years I have had many issues with self harm and I've been in hospital for anorexia, jumping off viaducts, overdoses and really deep cuts and stuff. I'm on 100mg of sertraline now and have been for nearly two years and it proves to be helping, but I am still scared of what damage I could do to myself, if things were to slip up again. I have also had issues with alcohol andrecreational drugs.
So this is probably really boring, but two months ago I had an accident at my work (Fat Face a shop). I fell down a whole flight of stairs and was rushed to hospital for them to find that I had broken three vertibrae in my spine and had bleeding inside my head. It was pretty nasty as I couldn't move and was in hospital for a week. Two days after I came out, I started having seizures, whivh we have finally been told by the neurologist are only reflex anoxic seizures and tonic chlonic seizures. I am much better and am out of a wheelchair now but its still very painful and the seizures are very scary.
This accident obviously had an impact on my exams, as I wasn't able to sit them as I was in hospital or unmobile, meaning I have to resit the year. At first my friends were really supportive and came to visit me and stuff, but after about two weeks they just didn't bother anymore. When I finally said something along the lines of 'I know you're all busy and have exams and jobs and friends but its a bit upsetting that you can't even be bothered to reply to a text or make any effort with me when I'm sat at home all day' and they just completely freaked out on me saying I was selfish?! Some of them are still talking to me sometimes but most were really horrible. And I am like ook I don't need them (I am quite strong generally) but recently I've been feeling so sad. Even my family are getting sick of me being unable to do things and I'm just sat at home every single day. I have nothing to do, as obvioulsy I am signed off sick from work, as I'm resitting the year I. Am not to go back to school until september and therefore have no schoolwork to do, and my friends just are not bothered. I can't go sailing or horseriding which I love to do because my back is still in bad shape- I tried going up to the sailing club and stables but it just made me miss it more, and there is only so much reading, drawing watching films etc a person can do. My boyfriend has been great to me, but he works full time so he can't see me as much as we both would like now that I have all of this time.
But I'm just sitting feeling miserable, not eating, crying and unable to do anything. I am lonely and sad, thinking of things which made me depressed in the first place and obviously kind of worrying about the current situation of my health, and its getting to the point I don't want to be alive. I don't want to get into any problems like I've faced before again, but I don't know what to do to stop myself! I literally look forward to my doctor appointmens! If anybody has any suggestioms with anything I can do to make myself feel better it would be hugely appreciated!!

[writeagain]

Try not to see your injury as a set back but rather an opportunity to find a new hobby. It's not like you can never horseback ride or sail but while you wait take this opportunity and discover something new!

you can do it!

[SkaterDrew]

I agree with writeagain, try to find/discover some interesting hobbies, more hobbies, less worries.