My thoughts for today

[delsina363]

Here are my thoughts for today:

I hate my job. I actually hung up on someone today. I am at the point where I cannot take any further meanness or sarcasim, or condescending BS. I am sooo afraid I am going to flip out and lose my job. That is, if I still have one after hanging up on another employee. She was being obnoxious, rude, and condescending for no reason, being a bully.

Oh yeah, I hate my life to. I am so sick of the small circle of people around me abusing my genorisity and good heart. From my husband, to my sister, etc. the only time they even pretend to care is if they want something from me.

I finally go see my therapist tomorrow. I have not seen her almost 8 weeks, due to car trouble, etc. I am praying she can give me some of her magic wisdom, so I do not do something really, really bad.

Those are my thoughts for the day

[4EverMe]

Just know that we're listening.
And wishing you the best...

[delsina363]

Thank you 4EverMe for listening. I feel better after talking with my therapist, I am going to see her next week too. She thinks I may need a partial program. That is when you go get mental health help all day long, but go home at night to be with your family. I did this once before 2 1/2 years ago, and it did help a bit. She also believes that due to my Mom's passing in November a lot of suppressed feelings are coming up. I am just terrified about my job. I am already in enough trouble, and then to ask for a medical leave to go to a partial program???? Last time I was away for a whole month. I am up now, very late, dreading having to go into work tomorrow. I will try to hope for the best.

[delsina363]

Yeah, it is me again. I have no friends or family to speak to, so I am coming here to write how I am feeling. So, I am in work, and just received a phone call in regards to my Mom's phone bill. I told them again that she has passed away. They asked me for the date, and I told him - November 2nd, 2013. I am so emotional right now, I do not know what is happening to me. I miss my Mom so much. She was not the greatest Mom, but I knew she loved me. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I tried to get her help, and pleaded with my siblings for help with my Mom. No one would help me. I even called the State Abuse Hotline, and asked them to check on my mother. No one did anything. Ten days after I called the hotline, my Mom was out by herself, when she should not have been. She fell that day, and was helped by strangers. By the time the ambulance came, she had passed out. My worse fears came true. Then my siblings elected to keep her alive with machines for over a month. They finally agreed with me and the doctor, and I was beside my Mom the day she passed. I am so full of anger and bitterness. Right now, I hate my siblings, in fact I hate everything right now. I miss Ma, that is what we all called her. She had a pretty bad life, raising seven children on her own. Worked 2 jobs all her life. I just feel so bitter with the world, and everyone in it.

[zohaa3492]

wishing you the best...these are my thoughts for all of you




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[100footpole]

Before Christmas this year I was reading the forums every day, just responding to the new messages.

If there were no new messages I went back to the old posts and responded.

Lately I've been doing other things than coming to the forums.

Today I decided to look at the messages from the bottom up. There were more posts than I hadn't read than the ones just at the top.

I think there is pathos looking at Delsina363's postings, the last of which you responded to.

Zohaa3492 ... I am wishing you the best too. Your first post has inspired me.