Feeling a bit scared

[Woglinde]

My boyfriend lately has been having some kind of mental breakdown. I don't know what is wrong with him, but he's just being really manic/depressed. Sometimes he starts laughing or crying or screaming for no reason.

Since I have depression then I understand he doesn't do it on purpose and it'll probably pass soon. That's not really the problem I am having.

He has told me more than once now that he is having violent fantasies about hurting me. He told me that he once put down his fork and stopped eating during one of our meals because he had the urge to stab me with it.

I told him that it makes me scared for my own safety because he feels like he can't control his own actions. I told him maybe I better stay with relatives for a few weeks while he gets some help. Not even like breaking up with him, but just taking a break until this weird manic phase of his passes. He started crying and apologizing and begging me not to leave.

I'm afraid that if I go, he'll completely fall apart, lose his job, maybe hurt himself. But I'm afraid that if I stay I'll never feel safe and I'll never get better from my own issues.

I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid all the options end up with someone being incredibly hurt.

[Elysium]

You should be clear with him that you think it's important that he seeks out help. Tell him that he should get help because it's better both for him and for yourself. Neither one of you can be in a situation where you can't relax because you don't know what's going to happen next. He has to seek out help and he has to commit seriously to that.

This is not a punishment to him, but an act of love because you sincerly want the relashonship to be working. As such, it is your duty to give him this kind of ultimatum, and it is his duty to commit seriously to seek out help. Make this clear. Make it clear that this is not a punishment; you ask this of him because you believe that he can make it work, right?