Thankful for this forum

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Havanesemom
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:37 am
Location: Southern California

Thankful for this forum

Postby Havanesemom » Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:11 am

Right now, this very moment, I am thankful that I found this forum. As much as I find a diary helpful, I like the idea that I can express my thoughts and feelings and maybe someone will read them. Maybe it is egotistical to feel good about the idea that someone might read my crazy rambling thoughts and maybe care or get some personal relief from them, but it works. And they say, do what works. All I can hope is that writing it helps me.
I have spent so many years writing to people, individuals in my life. They do not want to know what is in my head. I swear. It's not bad, it's just too much for a friend to take on. They get tired of the complaints. They do not know how to help. The truth that I have found is that I do not want someone to help. I just want someone to listen. Listen to me gripe!! Do not try to fix me. I'm not broken. No my boss is not always a b** but sometimes she is. And when she is, yes, it may be me just being moody and want she did wasn't that bad. But just Fing listen!! Okay, and maybe agree with me if I'm right. If I'm wrong, shut up!! I don't care. I just need to gripe to get out my emotions. Like right now, I hate the cat. She woke me up at 1 in the morning wanting to play. She is somewhere between a kitten and a cat so she is still young. She doesn't understand that we like to sleep at night even though she is nocturnal. That's the logical side of things. But right now, I am up at 3am because I couldn't go back to sleep after that little B*** woke me up. Now mind you I have already had 2 babies 2 puppies and another kitten so I really do understand that I need patience with her. But that does not help me sleep. I have so many other things going on in my life that I am struggling with that the cat, is on my last nerve. So she gets no love from me right now. I hit the laptop. I'll complain in a forum where I can only hope I do not get a bunch of response from people telling em to suck it up and stop complaining. Why does everyone say that? Suck it up... You suck it. We cannot always be happy perky people loving all things. Maybe, only maybe, if I was born and raised in an environment where everything went right, exactly how I wanted it to, I got everything I wanted, would I be that person. But I didn't. My mom and her many husbands, boyfriends, and friends drank, used drugs, and abused the kids. How can a child that grows up in that hateful environment end up a happy go lucky person? They don't. They end up without any friends and hating everything. Even the stupid little birdies that wake me up early in the morning. Even my cat. It's 3am so I think I just need a little sleep. I'm going to go try and see if that'll happen tonight before the birdies wake up. Thanks for listening.

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