Morning of Loneliness.....

[satisfy]

Good morning life! another day of lonely morning again. I don't want to think about it but it thinks again. I get head ache, tense my shoulder. I am going to relax and let it goes, both my head and my shoulder. Stay in the present moment bit by bit. What is life when I get up. I don't have a job or even I can handle to have a job. So, stay home depressing. I don't know how long I have to live like this. I will be in this situation until one day when my time comes and my time to leave this world. I want to talk to somebody such as my mom, but she is never understood me. I don't know if I even have some body live wtih me now I still gonna feel complete. The lonely catches in my heart. Its grabs me every moment. My head ache still not goes away yet.I am tired. I wonder if I am still taking Lithium, do I feel depress like this or not. When I was on Lithium, I did not have this symptom. Should I go back to Lithium? Then I will not be able to feel myself again either. Lithium will numb me out, get fat and urgly. Help, Help, Help, I want to get out of this head ache, depress feeling that crawing in my body.

[Frame]

So many questions satisfy. I know the feeling. I felt the same way on Lithium.
I feel the same disquiet off. More questions than answers.

If you have the time though, one thing with great promise is exercise.

[Ieris]

This is going to sound a bit harsh but if you stay at home all the time, I am not surprised that you feel lonely. Friends/girlfriends do not come knocking on your door and keep you company in your room. You have to go out there and meet them, invest time and effort to build friendships and relationships....

[satisfy]

I have schizoaffective disorder, so it is hard for me to get close to others. I have problem relates to others. I know, it is not an excuse on my mental illness but .....I right now I don't know how to explain my symptom to you to understand.

[satisfy]

Thank you, Frame for the exercise suggestion. I do exercise too whenever I can put myself to do it. I walk on the treadmill. I had car accident with whiplas on my neck bone, and my hip is uneven so I have one leg shorter than the other leg. So, I cannot work out too much because is caused pain.

[Frame]

I know this is a strange thing to say; so take some time and maybe read it more than once. I know there is only so much pain any one can take.

But:
"Pain is unavoidable but suffering isn't"

How that pertains here is two fold. The more pain you can take while exercising, the more endorphins released (good feelings) and the stronger you become (at long as you don't exceed your limits). So the harder you work (the more pain yes but) the less suffering.

The second way the pain can reduce suffering is that, if we concentrate, get really good at focusing on the exercise, we become more aware of our bodies and what it's going through. This awareness will move us away from the dark thoughts that come from idleness. So we can reduce our suffering from the dark thoughts and strengthen our bodies more intelligently.

[satisfy]

Thank you, Frame. Your support mean a lot to me. Thank you for being kind. I will try to work out more but while depressing there was no mind to think about any things else and that situation I even forgot about work out or take medication for the pain, so silly of me.