I'm afraid

[help]

I've been having these feelings for a quite a while now. I've started crying more often. People have started to notice, my family, my teachers. I'm afraid that i am depressed, i can't be; can I?? I have self-harmed, twice. I have had serious thoughts of suicide. I have tried to seek help but i just cant convince myself that i really need help, because someone like me can never be depressed, it's not possible. I am fat, i am ugly and i don't have any friends, or have anyone who care about me. I do think i am worthless, not good enough. I suck at school, never getting good grades even though i work my ass off most of the time. I'm afraid that one day, i'll stop eating, or one day, i'll attempt suicide. or one day, i'll run away or turn to drugs. I've seen people break down, i have read a lot of stories but surely mine isnt that bad? surely people think like this all the time? isn't it natural to feel like this? please assure me that this is not a serious thing and i am not depressed. i dont think i even know what the true definition of depression is anymore. This is normal, right?

[Frame]

OK listen; I won't repeat all the things you have stated about your self image, but feeling that way you have every right to feel depressed. Depression is the result of stress. Stress is the result of not meeting your expectations. Now, you may say they aren't your expectations. It's a fair point, but your measuring yourself against those expectations.

Depression is an evolutionary mechanism found in many living things. It's not a curse. It's a reaction. It's not somehow finding relief that becomes the curse. So how do we find you some relief?

It's about change. We can change our chemistry through drugs, exercise, diet, meditation, .... We can change feelings with therapy, discipline, creativity.... At the root, any change will bring changes to our expectations.

You are not worthless, although I am familiar with that feeling. I know what it's like to give it everything and fail miserably. I also know you are good enough, because good enough is a state of mind. And you can have that. The only person you need to be good enough for is you. You took an important step tonight in sharing here.

Welcome.
I hope you'll continue to post.
Frame