trust
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beckiemummytokaidon
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:53 am
trust
I am finding it hard to trust my partner after hes lied to me twice and also I caught him watching pron now I feel astho im not goo enough for hin and he wants some1 better looking bigger boobs whatever it is he gets off on our sexual relationship aibt great but I really dobt wana leave him we also have a child I'm really confused and down he will not open up and talk to me denies everything is ther a way forward?
Every man watches -----, whether they admit it or not, it's normal and usually harmless. One third of people that uses internet is to watch -----. ----- was one of the first to be put on the internet.
My grand father had a grocery store and he always went to the magazine counter to have a look at the latest Playboy.
Of course everybody would like to have sex with Pamela Anderson but whoever thinks it will happen is going to waste his life waiting.
It seems that the word ----- is banned from this forum
My grand father had a grocery store and he always went to the magazine counter to have a look at the latest Playboy.
Of course everybody would like to have sex with Pamela Anderson but whoever thinks it will happen is going to waste his life waiting.
It seems that the word ----- is banned from this forum
I didn't at first want to respond to your post Beckie, because I agree with Pilule's facts. But I don't agree it's harmless, not to a married relationship.
Men and women both are human. They will struggle they will fail. Sexual desire is the strongest of the desires. When it comes to women, I understand that part of that desire is a desire to be attractive to their mate. I understand your hurt in those terms, when a man looks somewhere else.
And so I believe both men and women have to have endurance and forgiveness for each other. They must affirm their intention for monogamy and the growth of the relationship. They also have to understand they are motivated differently and that they will fail in different ways.
What is most harmful, though, is to reject the idea that a person makes mistakes or to refuse to forgive. This is what culminates in deception and erodes trust. I think part of a husband's and a wife's job is to create an environment where the other can confess their failings knowing they will be forgiven. It is almost always painful, but it is what strengthens marriage bonds rather than weakens them.
Men and women both are human. They will struggle they will fail. Sexual desire is the strongest of the desires. When it comes to women, I understand that part of that desire is a desire to be attractive to their mate. I understand your hurt in those terms, when a man looks somewhere else.
And so I believe both men and women have to have endurance and forgiveness for each other. They must affirm their intention for monogamy and the growth of the relationship. They also have to understand they are motivated differently and that they will fail in different ways.
What is most harmful, though, is to reject the idea that a person makes mistakes or to refuse to forgive. This is what culminates in deception and erodes trust. I think part of a husband's and a wife's job is to create an environment where the other can confess their failings knowing they will be forgiven. It is almost always painful, but it is what strengthens marriage bonds rather than weakens them.
Frame,
I assume that ----- is harmful in the sense that if you watch ----- as a substitute for your mate, that is not good, and I witnessed relationships fail because of that.
Maybe my example is not good but when I was going out with girls (not often) and that they weren't as good looking as the women on the ----- site, I still had desire for the woman I was with. So in my case it was harmless.
I do have to say that my friends that are in a healthy relationship don't watch ----- nearly as much as when they are not.
I assume that ----- is harmful in the sense that if you watch ----- as a substitute for your mate, that is not good, and I witnessed relationships fail because of that.
Maybe my example is not good but when I was going out with girls (not often) and that they weren't as good looking as the women on the ----- site, I still had desire for the woman I was with. So in my case it was harmless.
I do have to say that my friends that are in a healthy relationship don't watch ----- nearly as much as when they are not.
The core of my thesis is that; it's not the action or the activity, or even the desire that is harmful. It is the hiding, the distance, the lack of communication, the lack of trust which can result that is harmful to a marriage.
It doesn't necessarily result and it can happen as easily within a person as it can between two people. If someone's action or an episode occurs (not even their intention or fault) which causes them shame and the result is they hide the episode from themselves; that can be just as internally damaging. My point is openness, honesty, and forgiveness. This strengthens a relationship; even our own internal relationships.
I think that the more a couple talk, the more empathy is built; and the less external sexual desire will be expressed simply out of respect. The more separate lives a couple live, more foreign that empathy and respect can feel, the more likely a people is to think of themselves first.
It doesn't necessarily result and it can happen as easily within a person as it can between two people. If someone's action or an episode occurs (not even their intention or fault) which causes them shame and the result is they hide the episode from themselves; that can be just as internally damaging. My point is openness, honesty, and forgiveness. This strengthens a relationship; even our own internal relationships.
I think that the more a couple talk, the more empathy is built; and the less external sexual desire will be expressed simply out of respect. The more separate lives a couple live, more foreign that empathy and respect can feel, the more likely a people is to think of themselves first.
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