Effort in Life

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nenkohai
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:01 pm

Effort in Life

Postby nenkohai » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:07 pm

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

Is that a revelation to you? Was to me when I first ran across it.

Its true, we all deserve our own love. But, are we willing to put forth the effort to do so?

Depression has often forced my response to be "no." But then, there came a time, when I decided I MUST, SOMEHOW, channel depression away from me. Out of my mind... and out of my soul.

It doesn't happen ALL the time. I have to work at it every day, several times a day. I have to, literally, "return" my thinking to self-compassion. ANd sometimes, I have to take time to dismantle the triggering thought. To apply self-compassion to the triggering thoughts. Many times a day. While it IS work, I can tell you, if you input the effort, the technique DOES work.

Self-love/compassion "rights the ship." By applying the effort to ourselves, we can then use our energies far more constructively - at work and with family and loved ones.

I asked myself :

1. are you ready to be done (being this way all the time - depressed)
2. are you ready to do the appropriate work to make the change?

YOu don't have to take my word for it. I learned these ideas from a dude named Noah Levine. Do a search. His ideas are not new. In fact, they're about 2500 years old.

Frame
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Posts: 1081
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Effort in Life

Postby Frame » Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:41 pm

I thought it made sense to put two posts together because Nenkohai may have the right idea and JJ might have the right technique to help achieve it.


nenkohai wrote:"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

Is that a revelation to you? Was to me when I first ran across it.

Its true, we all deserve our own love. But, are we willing to put forth the effort to do so?

Depression has often forced my response to be "no." But then, there came a time, when I decided I MUST, SOMEHOW, channel depression away from me. Out of my mind... and out of my soul.

It doesn't happen ALL the time. I have to work at it every day, several times a day. I have to, literally, "return" my thinking to self-compassion. ANd sometimes, I have to take time to dismantle the triggering thought. To apply self-compassion to the triggering thoughts. Many times a day. While it IS work, I can tell you, if you input the effort, the technique DOES work.

Self-love/compassion "rights the ship." By applying the effort to ourselves, we can then use our energies far more constructively - at work and with family and loved ones.

I asked myself :

1. are you ready to be done (being this way all the time - depressed)
2. are you ready to do the appropriate work to make the change?

YOu don't have to take my word for it. I learned these ideas from a dude named Noah Levine. Do a search. His ideas are not new. In fact, they're about 2500 years old.


A couple of things I'd like to mention as you begin to meditate on the fact that you are the person most deserving of your own gentle love.

1) As pertains to sitting I been told many times (in agreement with JJ's instruction) to sit as though a string were attached to the top of your head pulling you straight up. This would tend to bow your head forward at a slight angle an pull your spine into a gentle curve (no slouching. And yes is does make a difference) your shoulders over your pelvis.

2) It works, it really does but (in deference to JJ) it does take work and determination. Sometimes it's bliss and sometimes it's aweful. But if even if it's torture, it's working. It's the practice that makes it effective. Things come up that we don't want to deal with but, hey, we're just sitting; we can deal with them.

JJ wrote:These aren't my words, but something I read which is a really good guide on how to get started with meditation. I highly recommend looking into this if you don't know much about it or have never tried it. Smile


Yogic meditation is a technique for reining in the inner voice and obtaining a state known as mindfulness. First described nearly 3000 years ago it is practiced by Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists and anybody else who seeks a quiet mind.


The first stage is mindful concentration. In this practice we seek to quiet the inner voice by focusing our attention on one thing to the exclusion of all others. Usually this is practiced in conjunction with yogic breathing.


Pranayama or yogic breathing starts with the standard three point breath. Most of us do not breathe properly. We take shallow sips of breath and breathe irregularly. This technique is a method of using our lungs to their full capacity.
-Stand / sit keeping your spine straight.
-Take a deep and steady breath through your nose.
-Fill the lower part of your lungs letting your belly push out as you do so.
-Fill the middle part of your lungs letting your ribs and breastbone push out.
-Fill the highest part of your lungs letting your upper chest push out.
-Complete the breath by exhaling twice as slowly as you inhaled.


Now that we know the proper way to breathe in meditation we first sit in a comfortable position away from distractions. Sit with your back straight. Breathe slowly through your nose, hold for a second, then breathe out. Focus your attention on the breathing. Still your inner talking. Do not be frustrated if this is difficult at first. Be patient. If your mind wanders to other thoughts, and it will, our conscious mind is like a willful child, just gently, without frustration, move the mind back to the breathing. Do not worry about a goal of ten minutes or twenty minutes or whatever. Do this only for so long as you feel comfortable.



When you have practiced this for a bit it will get easier. It will become a pleasurable experience. You will feel invigorated yet calm at the same time. You will feel a blooming sense of well being in your mid section. You will gradually, with practice, achieve what we call “mindfulness”. this is a state of consciousness in which we experience the world directly without first filtering our perceptions through the lens of our inner talking. You see, we all experience the world this way as children. Later on we stop experiencing the world directly and start experiencing it second hand, in other words we describe the world to ourselves in our inner voice.


The direct perception of mindfulness is just something you have to experience for yourself. Any description of mine would fall short. Patience and persistence is the key. Do not be frustrated. It is an organic process. Just let it happen.
_________________
Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. --Rumi


Last but not least, try not to pay attention to all the other stuff I write that makes me sound like a hypocrite for writing this (OK, so I'm a hypocrite; do as I say not as I do.) It really works, but it is like learning any other skill.

nenkohai
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:01 pm

Postby nenkohai » Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:00 pm

Wow, Frame. You spotted something something I didn't know anyone else really saw... jj and I are of the same mind regarding many things. She and I have discussed mindfulness, compassion, and how these things have helped each of us.

This approach (or these approaches, maybe) have helped two of our own (the users of DU).

I never , ever, want to preach and pontificate. But, for me, in combo with professional help (and in my case) meds, my work with compassion and mindfulness has given me hope. And that work, by itself, is at least as helpful as any drug I've taken. Perhaps MORE helpful.

Its work, sure, but its no more of a load than the emotions we burn when we are depressed, or anxious.

I always point to these techniques and thoughts when I'm in the DU chat. To me, its the light of hope.

But lots of ppl are not ready to hear this. They are not ready to understand that they will have to work... let alone that the work does not have to be burdensome.

I really do believe that if one commits to do the work, one WILL see positive results.

I stand by jj and her wise words (which SO belie her young age! :) ).

Thanks, Frame. Thank you.


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