Life Management. What Works for Me.

[nenkohai]

INTRODUCTION

Thanks for stopping and reading this.

I'm just a Depression-Understood-forum-user like you. I am not writing this to tell you what you should or should not do. That would be massively arrogant of me; and besides, my approaches to depression, anxiety, OCD and life, in general, maybe utterly useless to you. That said, if you should, by some chance, find a tiny bit of useful information, by all means, use it!

No doubt, writing in this thread will probably have therapeutic value to me and I hope you will excuse that indulgence.

Comments are welcomed and invited!

[hollyann]

looking forward to seeing what works for you.

[nenkohai]

Thanks, Hollyann! We'll see how this goes.

Life management versus Depression management

I intentionally named this thread "life management" instead of "depression management," because I've recently stopped looking a depression as its own entity (if you will) in my life, my psyche, and emotional responses. I have tended to respond to all events through the lens of depression.

But I don't have to.

I have been working very hard at breaking my habitual depression-based response to events. Its taken me a very long time to find that path. Its important for me to note that my past journey was often colored and sometimes defined by my habitual depression-based responses.

A side note to those who may know me from this site's IRC chatroom: my history may change your perception of me. But I can tell you this with certainty - I am not now the person I was then.

[nenkohai]

I've been going back and forth in my mind about this thread and what I may or may not have to say.

The thing that keeps coming back to mind is "how perfectly arrogant of me."

I dislike it when people preach. I don't want to do that myself. So, I'll end this thread here by saying this - what has made a difference in my life is Buddhism. I hate using that word because of all the connotations it has... all the imagery.... frankly, all the BS attached to the name.

Buddhism has taught me exactly how to get out of habitual depression forming thought patterns.

I got tired of mentally going to "the same damn place" all the time. Depression. Sadness. Self-loathing. Those things destroy the soul.

Over a period of 4 or so months, I told myself, almost as a mantra:

"Enough of this SHIT! ENOUGH!" It would literally thunder down my thoughts and mind.

Then the concept of granting myself mercy entered my thinking by way of reading books on Buddhism. I began to allow myself the mercy of acknowledging my bad thoughts and approach them with compassion. I could see if these thoughts gained purchase in my mind, I would go, yet again, into the emotional dirt. My self-mercy has taken the form of seeing these bad thoughts, acknowledging them, and letting them pass through me. I see them, but I do not have to pick them up. I just let the tumbleweed travel down the road... and out of sight.

This solution for me is not perfect, of course. What of the human mind is perfect, anyway? But this Buddhist approach as been at least as good (seriously) as any drug I've taken for depression and anxiety.

One last thing (honest) - if you want to look at the Buddhist approach, know that you do NOT have to steep yourself in eastern philosophy, become a monk, know sanskrit, wear funky-ass robes - I will be totally honest with you and say, I think all of that is massive bullshit. That is the doorway to dogma. And believe me, Buddhism, as a religion, has its share of dogma. But, its kernel-truths that originated with the Buddha, are a path to personal liberation - at least for me.

I'm always willing to talk more if asked. But, I've made enough unsolicited spewage.

Research. Decide for yourself.