I had a busy weekend, and didn't have the chance to reply to any of the threads that I was following.
If it turns out that I am being repeating myself, sorry.
Often I have thought that I just don't have any more fight left in me. At those times the depression has been quite deep.
Over the past month, after going for more than a year without any really bad ones, the depression has been hitting me hard. Sometimes I just can't get out of bed in the morning. I can't see much point in it.
Though, there is still some fight left. I went to the doctor and he was suggesting that I should be careful about getting the H1N1 flu. I told him that with all that I had been through in my life, there was no way that I was going to let some "pig flu" kill me.
Aurelia's hijacked topic
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Monty -
You tell 'em, girl! Pig flu, schmig flu.
You know whats odd, is that spring is a very depressing time for a lot of people. There are more suicides in spring. Very old people seem to wait til spring to let go. All those psychology classes I had talked about that. It's a natural thing. But it's a dangerous thing. Keep your thumb on it.
You don't repeat repeat yourself. Even if you did, it's ok. It helps getting it out of your head and off somewhere else.
xoxoxoxoxo
a5
You tell 'em, girl! Pig flu, schmig flu.
You know whats odd, is that spring is a very depressing time for a lot of people. There are more suicides in spring. Very old people seem to wait til spring to let go. All those psychology classes I had talked about that. It's a natural thing. But it's a dangerous thing. Keep your thumb on it.
You don't repeat repeat yourself. Even if you did, it's ok. It helps getting it out of your head and off somewhere else.
xoxoxoxoxo
a5
a5,
I am still going to hang in there.
I often tell my partner that it took 48 years to find them, that I am planning on being around for at least another 51 to finally get the chance to have a "normal" adult relationship with someone.
In a previous life my then partner, would point out whenever I happened to mention something twice, to repeat myself.
Guess the fear of doing that has just kind of followed me along the years.
Take care
I am still going to hang in there.
I often tell my partner that it took 48 years to find them, that I am planning on being around for at least another 51 to finally get the chance to have a "normal" adult relationship with someone.
In a previous life my then partner, would point out whenever I happened to mention something twice, to repeat myself.
Guess the fear of doing that has just kind of followed me along the years.
Take care
a5,
Know that all of us sometimes go through difficult periods in our life when we need to turn inward, just doing the usualy stuff that absolutely has to be done.
I am worried that I haven't seen any posts from you lately.
I tried to email you but my messages were returned with a "delivery failure".
Hope all is ok with you
Know that all of us sometimes go through difficult periods in our life when we need to turn inward, just doing the usualy stuff that absolutely has to be done.
I am worried that I haven't seen any posts from you lately.
I tried to email you but my messages were returned with a "delivery failure".
Hope all is ok with you
Monty~
You are so sweet. I've thought about you every day, but I couldn't write. I went through the worst depression I've ever experienced, and guess what! I didn't want to bum anybody here out, so I didn't write. It's an odd thing - now that I feel I actually know you and Amy and XN, I don't want to give you a bunch of awful stuff. Today was the first day in weeks that I checked what my notice from this site was, and it was you, and it was today, and that made me so happy. You're just an angel.
How are you? What's been happening on the board? How's the weather up there? We had a rare heat wave here where it got and stayed in the high 90s for almost two weeks. Wore us out. But now it's nice again - just in the 80s.
A really good thing happened today, as well as your letter. My disability was approved. It did, as one lady told us, take almost three years. But I'm now fully approved, for the rest of my life. Now Brad, with his unbelievably painful cancer, doesn't have to frame anymore. He can pick and choose what work he wants to do, and doesn't have to work when he's feeling really bad. That is the best part - that he can relax now.
Thank you again for keeping me in your thoughts. It's good when someone on the Depression forum gets such a happy thing. You get two gold stars.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A5
You are so sweet. I've thought about you every day, but I couldn't write. I went through the worst depression I've ever experienced, and guess what! I didn't want to bum anybody here out, so I didn't write. It's an odd thing - now that I feel I actually know you and Amy and XN, I don't want to give you a bunch of awful stuff. Today was the first day in weeks that I checked what my notice from this site was, and it was you, and it was today, and that made me so happy. You're just an angel.
How are you? What's been happening on the board? How's the weather up there? We had a rare heat wave here where it got and stayed in the high 90s for almost two weeks. Wore us out. But now it's nice again - just in the 80s.
A really good thing happened today, as well as your letter. My disability was approved. It did, as one lady told us, take almost three years. But I'm now fully approved, for the rest of my life. Now Brad, with his unbelievably painful cancer, doesn't have to frame anymore. He can pick and choose what work he wants to do, and doesn't have to work when he's feeling really bad. That is the best part - that he can relax now.
Thank you again for keeping me in your thoughts. It's good when someone on the Depression forum gets such a happy thing. You get two gold stars.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A5
I have about two minutes.
Glad you wrote.
Don't worry about writing when you are feeling down. We are all here to prop each other up. Remember , we are not just here for the good times.
When I have friends, I cherish them. Just like I do all of the members of the forum.
I want to know what is happening with my friends. Good or bad. If you doh't want to write that is a different thing.
Don't worry about pulling us down.
We want to be able to pull you up.
Glad you wrote.
Don't worry about writing when you are feeling down. We are all here to prop each other up. Remember , we are not just here for the good times.
When I have friends, I cherish them. Just like I do all of the members of the forum.
I want to know what is happening with my friends. Good or bad. If you doh't want to write that is a different thing.
Don't worry about pulling us down.
We want to be able to pull you up.
Hi a5,
That is really tremendous that you were able to get the disability designation. Especially that you don't have to worry about being reassessed every few years.
For you and Brad I can understand that it must make a huge difference to your lives. Good that neither of you have the great, big money issue hanging over your head.
I also got the permanently disabled designation from our federal government. Makes the world of difference to my life. Mine is also, forever and always.
I must be pretty sick because I also have the disability tax credit in my records. That one has to be reassessed every 3 years. For that time all of my income from disability (or at least pretty well all) can be deducted from my income tax form.
They don't give the disability status very often here. You have to fight. Having the tax credit also available to me, cuts down my tax bill quite a bit.
It is great that now Brad can relax some. With having to deal with the cancer and also having momey worries must have been a great burden for him to carry.
Keep both of you in my thoughts. Would have replied earlier but I have not been feeling well. Usually when I get a notification, I go right to the message and delete it when I am done.
The pain and nausea have been quite bad so somehow your message got lost in the shuffle.
Sorry that I took so long to respond. I am feeling some better now. Make sure that you say hi to Brad from me.
Looking forward to hearing from you, when you are well.
Cheers
That is really tremendous that you were able to get the disability designation. Especially that you don't have to worry about being reassessed every few years.
For you and Brad I can understand that it must make a huge difference to your lives. Good that neither of you have the great, big money issue hanging over your head.
I also got the permanently disabled designation from our federal government. Makes the world of difference to my life. Mine is also, forever and always.
I must be pretty sick because I also have the disability tax credit in my records. That one has to be reassessed every 3 years. For that time all of my income from disability (or at least pretty well all) can be deducted from my income tax form.
They don't give the disability status very often here. You have to fight. Having the tax credit also available to me, cuts down my tax bill quite a bit.
It is great that now Brad can relax some. With having to deal with the cancer and also having momey worries must have been a great burden for him to carry.
Keep both of you in my thoughts. Would have replied earlier but I have not been feeling well. Usually when I get a notification, I go right to the message and delete it when I am done.
The pain and nausea have been quite bad so somehow your message got lost in the shuffle.
Sorry that I took so long to respond. I am feeling some better now. Make sure that you say hi to Brad from me.
Looking forward to hearing from you, when you are well.
Cheers
Know that several "regulars" follow this thread.
Just wanted to let you all that that I am going through a tough time now. Too many people, with too many demands on my time.
Plus I am not doing well, in the mental health realm of my life.
Going to be a very busy weekend. Lots of family stuff. My daughter is coming into town on Friday. Will get the chance to see her for lunch, anyway. She is getting married in the fall and it is going to be a large affair, so I am very happy that I will get the chance to see her.
I haven't been too thrilled with my history in parenting. No matter how many times people tell me that I did good, it doesn't sink in. Trying to write a letter to give her on Friday. Neither one of us does well in showing of feelings. I am very close to my kids though. Have mentioned before that she always signs her letters (and mine back to her) Love You More Than Life Itself.
Feel the need to put something down on paper for her, but don't want to be too gushy. Neither of us would like that. Will give it some thought, heading off to bed. Have to sort out what to write by tomorrow night.
Hope that you all sleep well.
Miss you.
Just wanted to let you all that that I am going through a tough time now. Too many people, with too many demands on my time.
Plus I am not doing well, in the mental health realm of my life.
Going to be a very busy weekend. Lots of family stuff. My daughter is coming into town on Friday. Will get the chance to see her for lunch, anyway. She is getting married in the fall and it is going to be a large affair, so I am very happy that I will get the chance to see her.
I haven't been too thrilled with my history in parenting. No matter how many times people tell me that I did good, it doesn't sink in. Trying to write a letter to give her on Friday. Neither one of us does well in showing of feelings. I am very close to my kids though. Have mentioned before that she always signs her letters (and mine back to her) Love You More Than Life Itself.
Feel the need to put something down on paper for her, but don't want to be too gushy. Neither of us would like that. Will give it some thought, heading off to bed. Have to sort out what to write by tomorrow night.
Hope that you all sleep well.
Miss you.
Thanks for speaking kindly of my children.
I have one of each. My daughter (at least seems) to have a good handle on life.
The son, on the other hand, is in a very difficult relationship. He has 2 adults, pulling at him all of the time that he is home. He has a child with this woman and I know that there is no way that he would leave the little one.
Actually I think that the mother-in-law is the big problem. My sons' partner and her mother are constantly with each other, and constantly at each others throats.The poor kid seems to be running hither and yon, perpetually. She will be a millstone around his neck until the day she dies.
When it comes to the bottom line. I am very proud of both of them. Even though things aren't going as well for my son (in the outside world) as my daughter. I know that they are both children (27&24) who possess great integrity.
Things are not going well at all for me. I made an emergency appointment with a family doctor, and also an appointment for with my counsellor. I am hoping that I can hold on, until then. My mood hasnt been this low for a long time. I didn't get out of bed until. approaching 2 this afternoon. I just couldn't see any point to it.
I am sure that part of it had to do with the fact that my kid's dad and his girlfriend came into town yesterday. Had a visit with them at my house, then went over to my brother's for a bbq. Ended up spending about 6 continuous hours with him. I was married to him for more than 25 years. A lot of history for me to deal with.
Plus it seems like she is a much nicer person than I. Glad he is happy. Has done much better, the second time around.
Sorry Aurelia for putting this on your topic. This was the only one that came up on my screen from my mailbox.
Figured you would like to know what was going on with me anyway.
Would help is you guys could send some positive thoughts my way..
I have one of each. My daughter (at least seems) to have a good handle on life.
The son, on the other hand, is in a very difficult relationship. He has 2 adults, pulling at him all of the time that he is home. He has a child with this woman and I know that there is no way that he would leave the little one.
Actually I think that the mother-in-law is the big problem. My sons' partner and her mother are constantly with each other, and constantly at each others throats.The poor kid seems to be running hither and yon, perpetually. She will be a millstone around his neck until the day she dies.
When it comes to the bottom line. I am very proud of both of them. Even though things aren't going as well for my son (in the outside world) as my daughter. I know that they are both children (27&24) who possess great integrity.
Things are not going well at all for me. I made an emergency appointment with a family doctor, and also an appointment for with my counsellor. I am hoping that I can hold on, until then. My mood hasnt been this low for a long time. I didn't get out of bed until. approaching 2 this afternoon. I just couldn't see any point to it.
I am sure that part of it had to do with the fact that my kid's dad and his girlfriend came into town yesterday. Had a visit with them at my house, then went over to my brother's for a bbq. Ended up spending about 6 continuous hours with him. I was married to him for more than 25 years. A lot of history for me to deal with.
Plus it seems like she is a much nicer person than I. Glad he is happy. Has done much better, the second time around.
Sorry Aurelia for putting this on your topic. This was the only one that came up on my screen from my mailbox.
Figured you would like to know what was going on with me anyway.
Would help is you guys could send some positive thoughts my way..
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MONTY)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
That was the biggest hug I could muster in one line! I am so sorry that you are feeling as down as you are. But I do understand it. Seeing your ex with a woman must have been devastating for you... but I will NOT accept you saying that she is nice than you! Just seeing you on these forums, it is totally obvious what a kind-hearted person you really are. You are there to listen and support others, you always have a positive and enlightening word to say, and it is my privilege to have gotten to know a spectacular woman like YOU!
You can hold on, Monty girl. You really can. You are a strong phenomenal woman who deserves good things in life. Proud of you for seeking the help you need, and know that your mood will lift back up again, as you know how lucky you are to have your children in your life, and that you have more years of luck and love to live for.
Please keep us posted, ok? Stay as positive as you can, Monty Girl. And stop beating yourself up... the only person that hurts is you, and knowing you are hurting is just awful! I'm glad you are turning to us so that we can offer you the same positivity and support that you so generously offer everyone else.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, Monty Girl.
That was the biggest hug I could muster in one line! I am so sorry that you are feeling as down as you are. But I do understand it. Seeing your ex with a woman must have been devastating for you... but I will NOT accept you saying that she is nice than you! Just seeing you on these forums, it is totally obvious what a kind-hearted person you really are. You are there to listen and support others, you always have a positive and enlightening word to say, and it is my privilege to have gotten to know a spectacular woman like YOU!
You can hold on, Monty girl. You really can. You are a strong phenomenal woman who deserves good things in life. Proud of you for seeking the help you need, and know that your mood will lift back up again, as you know how lucky you are to have your children in your life, and that you have more years of luck and love to live for.
Please keep us posted, ok? Stay as positive as you can, Monty Girl. And stop beating yourself up... the only person that hurts is you, and knowing you are hurting is just awful! I'm glad you are turning to us so that we can offer you the same positivity and support that you so generously offer everyone else.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, Monty Girl.
Thanks for the hug and kind thoughts Amy.
Things aren't going the best, but I am trying to be pro-active and getting some help, before things go too far south.
Will be seeing my counsellor more often for the time before the wedding. Should help.
Hope that things are going ok with you Aurelia. Know we haven't heard from you in a while. When you see this, give a hello to Brad from me.
Things aren't going the best, but I am trying to be pro-active and getting some help, before things go too far south.
Will be seeing my counsellor more often for the time before the wedding. Should help.
Hope that things are going ok with you Aurelia. Know we haven't heard from you in a while. When you see this, give a hello to Brad from me.
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