Punished for situations beyond my control

Miscellaneous Posts.

Moderators: windsong, cj-, BlueGobi, Moderators, Frame

Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 2:41 pm

Punished for situations beyond my control

Postby Abu » Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:16 pm


I was diagnosed with bi hemispherical dysfunction 13 years ago and ever since then I have suffered a lot right from academic to relationship and friends. This condition of mine causes terrible headache and memory loss because of improper blood flow to my brain. Looking back to my days at school I was academically gifted and was *very* good at everything that I did except for sports. When this condition struck me it struck me hard, from someone securing very good grades I started to fail in my class. This was just the trigger required to my relatives to taunt and put me down which they could not do earlier. To me of all, academic drop was and is the biggest shock that I have ever and will have.

That wasn't the stop it physically drained me so much that I looked like malnourished child or someone who had starved or living on one meal for years . I was given a long list of things to do and not to by the doctors, which was hard to follow considering that I was a school going. I tried to move on and study harder but it did not help me either, I could not retain what I had studied because of poor memory. I visited several doctors to find a cure but failed at every avenue that I went to . I failed thrice in a class and wasted 3 long years and couldn't do much except listen to people mocking me at stages of life .

Relationships suffered, no friends because I could not hang out or help myself at sports . To this day I do not have anyone ( yea, none) to talk to and share my feelings , the words I speak on daily basis are countable, such is my situation. I do have a undergrad degree and have CGPA of 7 but I can not recollect anything from the years that I studied.

Being 25 I have already lost faith in life , feels like I'm being punished for things that I haven't committed like my issues isn't what I wanted or desired for. For the past 13 years I've being having headache every single day and it just doesn't seem to go and also bad memory which comes along it.

But for the past few days my headache seems to have resided and all thanks to gemstone therapy but the disaster left behind is no less than a torture for me. The depression is very hard on me , none to talk , no job, want to get my master degree but struggling to find a college and * Depression*. The only thing that I'm proud of is I write, something similar to sonnet and people who get to read it have appreciated me a lot and I feel extremely good when someone praises my work.

Why am I put through this much of ordeal , is it normal ?

I just want to see light now , new beginning and best of life because this is not self infused and I want justice ( Okay , I'm rambling)

But why am I being punished for health condition , can't I have a normal healthy life with friends , relationships and success or is it too much that I asking for?

Return to “Other Thoughts, Feelings and Messages”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests