More depressed than ever.

[TheStanza]

I've pretty much always had depression but recently I'm feeling it more than ever and I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, I'd met her at university once I'd left home and I was already dealing with the anxiety of leaving home and all my friends who had left to go to other universities across the country. We'd been together for about a year and a half, the whole time I was with her my depression kind of subsided but I still had a lot of anxiety.

Since this was my first relationship I made quite a few mistakes I won't go into (I never cheated or anything) but I always felt guilty and saddened and over time I'd always tell her the truth and thought it'd make things okay again. A few days ago we broke up because she couldn't deal with the mistakes I made even though she loves me and I kind of can't blame her. I know people say eventually you move on, but I'd never loved someone this much.

I'm now back to how I was and I probably feel even worse, I feel absolutely worthless and I don't know what do with myself. I've got pretty much no one to talk to for support as the only couple of friends I have are always busy, my parents are part of the problem my relationship didn't work out and they always deny my feelings when I tell them I'm depressed even before all of this happened and I don't know where to start when it comes to seeing a doctor or a therapist? I'm just stuck by myself in my flat not being able to eat, sleep or do any of the things I found enjoyable.

Any advice or support would be appreciated

[ninasarai]

I've pretty much always had depression but recently I'm feeling it more than ever and I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, I'd met her at university once I'd left home and I was already dealing with the anxiety of leaving home and all my friends who had left to go to other universities across the country. We'd been together for about a year and a half, the whole time I was with her my depression kind of subsided but I still had a lot of anxiety.

Since this was my first relationship I made quite a few mistakes I won't go into (I never cheated or anything) but I always felt guilty and saddened and over time I'd always tell her the truth and thought it'd make things okay again. A few days ago we broke up because she couldn't deal with the mistakes I made even though she loves me and I kind of can't blame her. I know people say eventually you move on, but I'd never loved someone this much.

I'm now back to how I was and I probably feel even worse, I feel absolutely worthless and I don't know what do with myself. I've got pretty much no one to talk to for support as the only couple of friends I have are always busy, my parents are part of the problem my relationship didn't work out and they always deny my feelings when I tell them I'm depressed even before all of this happened and I don't know where to start when it comes to seeing a doctor or a therapist? I'm just stuck by myself in my flat not being able to eat, sleep or do any of the things I found enjoyable.

Any advice or support would be appreciated

I understand what you are going through and in all honesty there is no easy way to escape this emptiness you're feeling right now. What you need to do and what is best for you to do is focus on yourself and YOUR future . This will not take your mind off of your loved one which is very understandable but what it will do for you is eliminate the option to sulk in sadness as you are doing now . Once you get up and realize the good that is going on in your life vs the bad and your able to accept both of those things you will make great progress to a happier and healthier state of mind . It will not happen in a week or two , great progress takes a great amount of time ! Keep that in mind honey. PM me if anything or if you need to talk , or contact me on facebook @ Nina Sarai , it's the profile with the video . Good luck and don't hesitate to contact me . I'm here to help <3