26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

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changer7
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 10:15 am

26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby changer7 » Wed May 31, 2017 10:27 am

Hi, i am turning 27 soon. It seems that puberty has been extended for me. I have developed alot of acne on my face, even more so than when I was a teenager. In fact I have more pimples now than when 10 years ago. Over the past few months my forearm and body hair has almost trebled.

This is the biggest problem. I have never had any association with any woman ever. I went to a boys school from the age of 14. The engineering course I did, due to the academic and work pressure, the course had a 90% failure rate, i did not socialise on campus at all. From the ages of 18-24, it felt as if i was in a military establishment.
The place i reside in is absolutely callous. People do not smile at you no matter how you are dressed. It is as if I committed a crime by just looking at them.

This is driving me mad, it is as if my life is in a cage and prison cell. It is driving me insane, as woman are not objects but my mind is driving me towards that.

I feel that i missed out on life, that people younger than me talk about their first kiss or experience, what do I have to talk about. It is like I am fighting in a war, ensure when it will end!

Please help.

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Louise
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 6:25 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby Louise » Thu Jun 01, 2017 2:55 pm

Sorry for your troubles.
I don't want to worry you but have you seen your doctor? Just in case your acne and hair is caused by an underlying condition.
Do you socialise, have hobbies, a career? These are all things to talk about, the more you get out and make friends the more people you meet the more you have to talk about and more chance of meeting someone.
Ignore the fact you haven't had a girl, it doesn't mean anything, it's your future experiences you should be focusing on.

basketballgirl5000
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:41 pm

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby basketballgirl5000 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:07 pm

This is a tough place to be in. I agree with @Louise that you could think about checking in with a doctor to see if you should be concerned about the acne and hair growth. When it comes to the fact that you have never been with a women, this is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not less of a man because you've never kissed a women. Are you a part of a church, or maybe a gym where you could meet people? I would encourage you to establish friendships with women before thinking about engaging in a romantic relationship. Don't be discouraged, you're not alone!

live2ndin
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:19 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby live2ndin » Fri Jun 02, 2017 8:09 pm

Everyone has seasons in life, and everyone experiences things in different times. Often the popular culture looks compelling but leads to many other unforeseen issues and rushes many people into things that they are not ready to experience. I would encourage you to look at your situation as a strength, I certainly commend you for the way you have lived your life so far. Overall, I understand your frustration, but would like to let you know that the best is yet to come my friend.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:01 am

Hi, really sorry to hear that. I think most people here can relate to your past.

I'm glad you came and reached to us. Shows you really want help and someone to understand. We understand.

Your situation to me sounds like a common one. This all happened being young and messing around and being a typical young person doing everything you want in life and looking forward to growing up.

Eventhough that looks like the typical situation for a young person what we see that's not always the case. We look at others in a comparing way and do everything possible to be Even better. Would you say your a perfectionist? Did you find others at school always happy and joyful?

Everything from there isn't the real reason why you think you should compare yourself to people. It's because your not happy in yourself. I'm not saying they are either but are ones what try not to aim higher or compare themselves to others. It goes back to self esteem. If you look at yourself in a negative way you will be negative. If positive you will be positive. Then people come into it and that's how you respond.

It can be anything what made you feel this way but it's how you look at it yourself. I keep trying to say to people to be themselves. I think that's the best thing they can do. The best people are the ones who are themselves.

Your in a good situation. Turn this back round on them and not you. You will see such a difference on the outside. It's not you, it's your mind. Deal with that and you will deal with people.

Maybe therapy would be good something like CBT but take control for yourself.

changer7
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 10:15 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby changer7 » Wed Jun 07, 2017 6:38 am

Thanks for the replies all. I guess I need to form some sort of social circle.

I just feel like a caged animal, having never had any relationship before which is driving me insane.

changer7
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 10:15 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby changer7 » Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:40 am

It's also a demotivator in general in terms of work and why I'm working.

changer7
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 10:15 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby changer7 » Fri Jun 09, 2017 10:14 am

the worse thing is that i feel that there a psychological effects of not ever having a relationship. It seems that it warps your mind as you get older. you look back and think nothing happened in high school, nothing happened at university. it goes on...

changer7
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 10:15 am

Re: 26, relationship virgin, extended puberty, feel trapped

Postby changer7 » Fri Jun 09, 2017 10:40 am

i feel as if i didnt have a chance to live life as a bachelor because where I live as the people are horrible


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