Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Rose101
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:44 pm

Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Rose101 » Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:58 pm

Everything is pretty normal in my life...I have a normal family..close friends..good academic record..but why do I feel this way? Why do I feel so heavy? Everyday is so hard to live with a smile on..when all u want is to cry. Nobody knows I feel like this..even if they did I don't think they understand..they probably see it as if I'm just sad and I'll pass away.. Am I just sad or depressed? Growing up the people surrounding me has criticized me so much..now it's hard for me to love myself...all I can think of is.." worthless. Ugly. Nobody will get u.. u are sick...do u think ppl care for u? They don't even notice u..just like Ur friends and family doesn't..u won't be loved...why r u trying when u know u will fail...don't dream..." These thoughts are never far from me... always around corner..ready to strike again when I have picked myself up... Nobody sees the struggle in me...the pain..they think I'm sad for no reason..there is no reason honestly..but I don't know why I feel like this...why I have a constant urge to hurt Myself? Why ? Why?

Inn
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Inn » Wed Aug 22, 2018 11:14 am

Hi Rose
This sounds very much like depression. There's no right or wrong way to feel, you feel what you feel and there's always a reason for it, even if your life is 'normal'. It can be your growing up, or just chemical imbalance in your brain. Or one thing triggers another, who knows how it really works.

The only important thing is that you're in pain, and it must be bad if you're thinking about hurting yourself. Depression messes with your common sense, telling you you're worthless and ugly, even though you know it's a lie, but it's a constant struggle and you must be exhausted.

I know you think no one would understand, not your family or your friends, and sadly most people don't understand depression if they never felt it, but they can be taught about it. First I think you should talk about it with someone you trust, maybe your doctor or psychologist.
It's very hard to deal with it alone, speaking from experience.

Anyway, I hope you stick around, sometimes just writing about it helps a great deal, and here we do understand.
Take care :wink:

nightingale77
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:48 am

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby nightingale77 » Thu Aug 23, 2018 6:07 am

Agreed with @Inn. Depression can happen to anyone - politician, lawyer, doctor or even teacher. It sounds like you might need some help with coping. Maybe it’s worth considering talking to a counsellor or therapist about what you are going through .Maybe they can help you with some coping mechanism or maybe help you to identify triggers that cause you to be depressed. Hope this help. Praying for you. God bless!

lovingladyo4
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 9:06 am

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby lovingladyo4 » Fri Aug 24, 2018 10:20 am

There are a couple thoughts I have regarding your situation, and they stem from similar feelings I used to have for most of my life.

Back when I was younger (I am now 64) I noticed how I stayed in a continual depressed state of mind. It wasn't until I reached my 30's that a friend helped me understand why this was happening. Lots of factors come into play, but in my case, the main one was discovering how a hormone imbalance affected my outlook on life and caused my personal worth to spiral downward at a reckless pace without a break. Coupled with the fact that I was born with a melancholy temperament (which I despised for almost my entire adult life until I discovered how to let it be my strength instead of my weakness), and coupled with the fact that my upbringing sent signals to my self worth that my life never mattered enough for my parents to intervene and make sure I was ok.

Hormone fluctuations and imbalances affect your outlook on life and your feelings of self worth. I discovered I was born with the inability to utilize serotonin, epinephrine and dopamine, (which are playfully called the "happy hormones") and as much as I dislike synthetic medications, it was the only solution available to me thirty years ago. After they kicked in, I remember thinking, "Oh, so this is how normal people live!"

There is a mechanism in the brain that is responsible for utilizing these hormones, but when the receptors to absorb these hormones are blocked or not functioning properly, they never have a chance to make it into the bloodstream and do their job.

So in answer to your question, I say yes, you can be depressed when everything on the surface appears to be intact and functioning the way you want it to. But underneath those layers, your mind, soul, and spirit could still be hurting or suffering. Feelings of low self worth can originate from hormones, but they can also be a result of other factors as well. Take someone who is born with a melancholy personality for example. There is not much they can do to change that, but there are ways they can take the positive qualities of that temperament and intentionally build there life on those. Sometimes it feels like rowing a canoe against the current, but after some practice and training your mind, a person can better overcome the downside to this temperament and learn to enjoy life, appreciating the way God created them.

I can't offer insight as to why a person may have tendencies to harm themselves, other than to say it is a symptom of some underlying unresolved problem a person faces without a means to solve. Many use this as a means to temporarily cope with their problems and relieve themselves of emotional pain. Have you considered calling a hotline worker just so you can hear a friendly loving voice on the other end? Someone who genuinely cares about your well-being and your future?

I am so thankful you felt the freedom to unload your concerns here, and I hope and pray you find the peace you deserve. Sometimes life is an uphill climb to get to our destination, but please don't be dismayed or lose heart. There are people out there who have dedicated their lives to encourage people in your kind of situation. If you would like more information, or want some numbers to call, I would be very happy to help you. Much love till we talk again.

Rose101
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:44 pm

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Rose101 » Sun Aug 26, 2018 1:38 am

@Inn @nightingale77 Thank u so much for Ur kind words..it feels good to know that there are some ppl who know that I'm going through and not just ignore my condition :)

Rose101
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:44 pm

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Rose101 » Sun Aug 26, 2018 2:01 am

@lovingladyo4 my need to hurt myself comes when I'm angry or disappointed in myself.. when I get angry I can't express it I keep it to myself and when I'm alone i have angry tears streaming from my ears and I scratch myself..I can't seem to help it ...and when I'm disappointed in myself or with any part of life I hurt myself with a compass..not deep..just to leave scars...I feel like I need the pain to function.

And I don't think I have any one close who gets me. I feel like I don't belong anywhere..I don't think anyone would ever get me or love me..I have a feeling everyone will leave me eventually :( and I also have a lot of insecurities..my mum had me when she was 18 so at that time she didn't know how to raise a baby..in a word I grew up on my own as dad was busy with work.. growing up ppl always said she was really pretty and how I turned out to be like this..as a child it used to hurt..and now still it has a tough spot for me..I won't say my childhood was bad or anything...it was really normal...I just didn't get the love and attention from my parents I wanted and sometimes was a little beaten for doing silly stuffs...but my parents are good ppl...for that since I was a kid I turned to be a quite person and stay out of ppls way so I won't trouble them.

In my mind I think that if my parents couldn't give me the same love and affection how I can I get it from others...I shared my problems with some of my friends but they maybe have kept it in mind from some days and forgot it...they think I have a normal life..and I'm just sad for no reason..I can't explain how I feel...cauz I know they don't get it.even !y parents thinks it's just teenage feeling..but I have felt sad and unwanted since I was 11 or maybe even before that.

I just feel really lost in my life right now...and it's getting hard to keep a smiling face on..and recently I start getting anxious in little things..I just don't know what to do

Inn
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Inn » Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:09 am

Hurting yourself is a coping mechanism in order to stop negative emotions and emotional pain. Professionals call it non suicidal self injury.
Physical pain causes a release of endorphins in our brain, another 'happy hormone', that relieves pain (physical end emotional), and produse feelings of relieve and pleasure, It can be pretty addictive though, hard to stop.

But you're not alone, cutting and scratching is quite common among young people like yourself, specially women. You may even know someone who does it, and also things no one will ever get them, but they are out there, believe me.
I assume you are in school, is there a school psychologist you can talk to? They can help you understand your feelings and guide you.
I'm sure your friends care about you, but it's difficult to entirely understand something you've never felt, you shouldn't blame them.

Teen years can be pretty awkward with intense emotional ups and downs, but it doesn't mean what you're going through isn't real and important. Even more because your personallity is developing, and I think it's better to deal with issues now than keep it inside, and wait to get worse.

I never self harmed this way, I have other unhealthy coping mechanisms, like booze and weed, but the reason is the same, a need for relieve or escape from pain.
Excercise works for me, but everyone has to find their own distraction.
You're very good at expessing your feelings, writing down what you feel when you're angry and disapointen in youself might help a lot.

Anyway, I'm here if you want support, someone to talk to, don't hesitate, I will answer
take care

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beebz
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:03 pm

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby beebz » Tue Aug 28, 2018 5:28 pm

I will tell you what my Dr told me.
My life was spot on, perfect (for lack of a better word) at the time, no marital problems, no money problems, perfect (young) sons, perfect home, perfect yard, perfect pets, perfect gardens, perfect body (lol) sleeping perfectly, volunteering to EVERYTHING. ... yet, I was driving down the road, after 10 hours of sleep and almost fell asleep, I was tired.
My Dr ordered me an antidepressant. I said, "I'm not depressed", he replied, "your brain is a battery, yours is dead, it needs charging, an antidepressant will help that, ""You don't need anything depressing going on in your life to become clinically *depressed*"
Again, that is what my Dr said, and he was so right at the time. I probably took the popular Prozac.

Now, that was many many years ago when I thought I had a perfect life. Here I am 30 years later, in a world of sh*t but thats on another thread lol
Perhaps you are simply burnt out, stimulated in all the wrong ways will make you sad and stressed. Even happy perfect things are stressing ie when one of my sons was small, he got so damn excited at fun things, that he got a tummyache.

As adults, we don't always get stomach aches, we get depressed.

I really hate antidepressants and what they have done to society, but I must say, from time time I caved into them.
I recommend the *older* ones, not all the new crap they come out with every six months.
I hope you find a smile, a giggle, are able to crack up at something, because laughing helps so much, a LOT of laughing.
Maybe people only ask you how you're doing... because its easier than letting on how little they really care.
But when you know you have a real friend somewhere, somehow all the others are so much easier to bear.
JacksonBrowne-Late For The Sky

Regina Quirion
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:18 am

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby Regina Quirion » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:23 am

To answer that, you must have answers to some of the questions that will help you prove whether it is a passing phase or you really have clinical depression.

Are you irritated for no reason?
Do you feel sad, tearful, hopeless all the time?
Are you not sleeping enough?
Has your sleep patterns changed?
Do you have a hard time focusing?
Do you have new physical problems like headaches or backaches?

If you are dealing with these issues, you probably have depression issues. Talking to a specialist might help.

They would recommend medications or behavioral therapies or an [https://myesadoctor.com/]emotional support animal[https://myesadoctor.com/]. Go for the therapy that you find most suitable.

massiveblackhole
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2019 6:46 pm

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

Postby massiveblackhole » Sun Sep 01, 2019 7:09 pm

OMG totally relate! In fact I just posted a similar thing. Its super annoying when friends/family are just like, "you're just feeling down, you'll get over it, just do something you like or go on holiday". But thats only a temporary fix. it doesn't fix the deep gnawing pain and emptiness that is always there to some degree. like you could be at a party full of friends and people you like but still feel empty and alone.

iv tried counselling and it didnt work for me. i haven't tried anti-depressants cos I'm reluctant to have to rely on drugs.

trying out this forum to see how other people feel and to know I'm not the only one but i honestly don't have the answers or know how to cure my depression if there's even a cure. other than death.

baby04448
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:56 am

Re: Can u be depressed...when nothing is wrong?

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