need to vent

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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heavyheart38
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

need to vent

Postby heavyheart38 » Sat May 12, 2018 4:21 pm

I'm exhausted and burning out, holiday is not an option, I have one coming soon. I feel so angry about everything. I've developed a fear of being rejected for sex by my wife, so much that I don't try anymore. I also get extremely anxious around confrontation. I have been working a bit of overtime lately to add to our holiday fund. I have been accused of having an affair, which isn't true. I really need help/advise to get through the anxiety to solve the rejection issue. She is a strong woman who I love very much, but she has always said if I don't like it, leave. This I think isn't really fair, she knows I have my problems, but doesn't even attempt to offer or accept any compromise. It's wearing my me down, I'm struggling with my emotions, but I never let her see them, I can spend hours at night in bed with tears streaming down my face, filled with a burning hatred of myself for being so afraid to touch my wife. Why do I feel like this constantly? I think she has an issue with affection, it is a very rare occasion when this happens, which really sucks because I yearn for it, crave it, it validates my existence, instead I feel hollow, empty, devoid of any happiness. I'm Soo over everything I'm too scared to try and fix and it's affecting my work, my rest, my very existence. I'm pretty sure I've answered my own questions, but can you get help for such strong fears? Because of my current state I'm very negative and temperamental

LookUp1430
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:43 pm

Re: need to vent

Postby LookUp1430 » Tue May 15, 2018 9:47 am

I am very sorry you are going through this. Nobody likes to feel rejected, especially by the one they love. It sounds to me like you have a pretty good read on your wife's personality. If it is any consolation, you referred to her a strong person. So, it might not be that she is rejecting you, but instead rejecting it. We, as males, believe the only way we can truly show affection is by demonstrating it physically. Females, on the other hand, are wired differently. We can't change that. All we can do is change the way we deal with that fact. Have you considered talking to a therapist or a pastor? Maybe someone like that can help you cope with your situation so that things don't continue to decline in other areas of your life. Hang in there. Things may seem hopeless, but they don't have to be.

CamGirl
Posts: 143
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: need to vent

Postby CamGirl » Tue May 15, 2018 9:16 pm

heavyheart38 wrote:I'm exhausted and burning out, holiday is not an option, I have one coming soon. I feel so angry about everything. I've developed a fear of being rejected for sex by my wife, so much that I don't try anymore. I also get extremely anxious around confrontation. I have been working a bit of overtime lately to add to our holiday fund. I have been accused of having an affair, which isn't true. I really need help/advise to get through the anxiety to solve the rejection issue. She is a strong woman who I love very much, but she has always said if I don't like it, leave. This I think isn't really fair, she knows I have my problems, but doesn't even attempt to offer or accept any compromise. It's wearing my me down, I'm struggling with my emotions, but I never let her see them, I can spend hours at night in bed with tears streaming down my face, filled with a burning hatred of myself for being so afraid to touch my wife. Why do I feel like this constantly? I think she has an issue with affection, it is a very rare occasion when this happens, which really sucks because I yearn for it, crave it, it validates my existence, instead I feel hollow, empty, devoid of any happiness. I'm Soo over everything I'm too scared to try and fix and it's affecting my work, my rest, my very existence. I'm pretty sure I've answered my own questions, but can you get help for such strong fears? Because of my current state I'm very negative and temperamental


Hi, I hope everything is okay with you and your wife. The only thing that you need to do is to give her an affirmation that you love her. Show her some gestures that she will feel secure. A woman needs that from time to time.

DrHPA42617
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:45 pm

Re: need to vent

Postby DrHPA42617 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:20 pm

Hi heavyheart38,

It sounds like you're suffering from pretty oppressive anxiety, and I'm very sorry to hear (read?) that. It's an awful thing to have to deal with by itself, never mind the resulting impact that it has on our relationships. Rejection is never fun, and I definitely understand avoiding behaviors and activities that might result in it (I do the same thing all the time). My advice would be to stick with simple things for the time being. Give your wife the occasional bear hug or kiss on the forehead. Little gestures like that can go a long way for a gal. Hopefully it would also help relieve some of your anxiety. I'm also sorry to hear that you're feeling worn down and generally exhausted. I'm sure this doesn't help your wellbeing in the slightest. Holiday isn't an option, but what about a day trip somewhere relatively close by? Or take a day and give yourself permission to spend it at home relaxing?

I hope things improve for you soon and am sending you all the positive vibes. Cheers.


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