Always an Outcast
Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:06 pm
I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Throughout grade school I was bullied because of my height. I was the shortest person in my class and therefore the easiest target. Boy, girl, it didn't matter everyone picked on me. Even now as an adult I'm still short, standing at a pathetic 5'2". Because of that I've always been alone, nobody hung out with the short guy. I spent my days by myself. I developed a shell and refused to let anyone beyond that shell.
In high school I managed to have a few "acquaintances" from clubs. I don't say friends because they didn't include me when the went to hang out. They were polite to me in school, but after school they wanted nothing to do with me. What's worse is that they didn't hide that they all went to hang out and left me out. Needless to say this hardened my shell even more and I went back to being a loner for the rest of high school.
Even when I'm with my own family I don't feel included. I sit alone, while everyone else seems to have somebody. When I try to have a conversation somebody else talks over me. Everybody is having fun while I feel like I'm being pushed out. The only time anyone wants to listen to me is when someone asks the magic question, "Did you get a girlfriend yet?" I hate that question because it's never happened and it never will.
At 24 it's difficult to go through life without having an experience everybody has when they're in their teens. I've never had that chance and don't think I ever will. The few times I've managed to work myself up to ask a girl out have never gone well. Rejection is the only answer I'll ever seem to receive. They say someday you'll find "the one", but in a world with over 7 billion people how is that possible. "The one" just doesn't seem likely at all, and besides there isn't even anyone out there for me. My future will be loveless and I'll die alone. I'm on my way to become the 40 year old virgin, if I make it that far.
In high school I managed to have a few "acquaintances" from clubs. I don't say friends because they didn't include me when the went to hang out. They were polite to me in school, but after school they wanted nothing to do with me. What's worse is that they didn't hide that they all went to hang out and left me out. Needless to say this hardened my shell even more and I went back to being a loner for the rest of high school.
Even when I'm with my own family I don't feel included. I sit alone, while everyone else seems to have somebody. When I try to have a conversation somebody else talks over me. Everybody is having fun while I feel like I'm being pushed out. The only time anyone wants to listen to me is when someone asks the magic question, "Did you get a girlfriend yet?" I hate that question because it's never happened and it never will.
At 24 it's difficult to go through life without having an experience everybody has when they're in their teens. I've never had that chance and don't think I ever will. The few times I've managed to work myself up to ask a girl out have never gone well. Rejection is the only answer I'll ever seem to receive. They say someday you'll find "the one", but in a world with over 7 billion people how is that possible. "The one" just doesn't seem likely at all, and besides there isn't even anyone out there for me. My future will be loveless and I'll die alone. I'm on my way to become the 40 year old virgin, if I make it that far.