i'm not sure

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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aexthetic
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:09 am
Location: Portugal

i'm not sure

Postby aexthetic » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:18 am

hey guys, it's my first time ever opening myself and talk about my feelings
lately i've been feeling stressed and tired, i can't really deal with things anymore, i mean it's not as bad as many other cases i've known but, it's hard to me...
i've been thinking about suicide alot lately but i can't do it, and it's not because i'm afraid to die, maybe a little, but it's not that
i'm afraid of letting down the people who love me and i guess that's why i'm still here, because i don't want anyone sad about this
i've helped a friend of mine who's in a worse scenario than i am and she considers me as her best friend, and i don't want to leave her and worsen her pain probably making her doing things that i never wanted in the first place

i could say i'm in a healthy family, now, but of course my parents have their fights and all
which is really unpleasant, my mother said that she is done with our situation and everything else, because my father is always wandering at night drinking alcohol to his sorrow, it's sad and it brings me down but i feel like i can't do anything anymore

i just don't know what to do

Imnothere
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:58 am

Re: i'm not sure

Postby Imnothere » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:46 am

If you catch yourself contemplating suicide, please call your local suicide prevention hotline/lifeline etc. They can and will help you take the second steps to getting help (first step would be you calling them).

From what you wrote, it seems like you have been through so much you are worn out. I might say I know how you feel, as I keep fighting this battle against depression only because I love my wife and kid, I want to see my wife happy, I want to see my kid grow up and when she starts dating I want her date to know there's someone who will do literally anything to protect her.

Having grown up in a troubled family, I guess I can relate when you wrote about your parents. Here's my two cents based on experience: as hard as it is, as much as you love them, try to not involve yourself in the dynamics between your parents, because in the end it is their issue and there is not much you can do. You can show your parents you love and support them, but it would be better if you don't expect them to love each other. Since alcohol is involved things are even more difficult and complicated, and I'd suggest that you seek a support group for families of people with drinking problems as a start. If you are still in school, by all means talk to the school counselor or a teacher you trust. You might also want to call your local mental health hotline.

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aexthetic
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Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:09 am
Location: Portugal

Re: i'm not sure

Postby aexthetic » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:59 am

Imnothere wrote:If you catch yourself contemplating suicide, please call your local suicide prevention hotline/lifeline etc. They can and will help you take the second steps to getting help (first step would be you calling them).

From what you wrote, it seems like you have been through so much you are worn out. I might say I know how you feel, as I keep fighting this battle against depression only because I love my wife and kid, I want to see my wife happy, I want to see my kid grow up and when she starts dating I want her date to know there's someone who will do literally anything to protect her.

Having grown up in a troubled family, I guess I can relate when you wrote about your parents. Here's my two cents based on experience: as hard as it is, as much as you love them, try to not involve yourself in the dynamics between your parents, because in the end it is their issue and there is not much you can do. You can show your parents you love and support them, but it would be better if you don't expect them to love each other. Since alcohol is involved things are even more difficult and complicated, and I'd suggest that you seek a support group for families of people with drinking problems as a start. If you are still in school, by all means talk to the school counselor or a teacher you trust. You might also want to call your local mental health hotline.


i'm thankful someone did reply to this
and also thankful for your help
but still, i don't want to take my problem so seriously, maybe because i don't value my life like i normally should, or maybe because this is just a phase
i'm still young, i'm just 16, so i can't really say that i've been through alot, as i said there are many more people going through worse than me and still here i am complaining

i mean, i do love my parents and i'm very sure that they both love each other, but things they do or say are really childish and sometimes embarrassing, i mean me and my siblings can't really deal with this anymore and even if we try my parents will continue arguing
my father is a very aggressive and stubborn person, not that he ever beaten my mother, i wouldn't let that happen and neither my siblings but, i'm afraid that from his stubborn attitude something bad might happen, related to alcohol, like dying or something like that and i don't want that to happen because it would tear everything apart

i just don't want any of my feelings to disturb my studies or even my friends or family
i don't want to worry anyone, yet i want help everyone that's sad or even depressed

Imnothere
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:58 am

Re: i'm not sure

Postby Imnothere » Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:41 am

Just because others are going through worse things, doesn't mean your pain is invalid. Just because you seem to have a bit more luck, doesn't mean you have no right to be sad.
Personally I've always thought that "I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet" fable (or whatever it is) is ridiculous. We can't compare one pain to another. If I, without shoes, feel better because another guy has no feet, am I not taking comfort in another persons misfortune? This doesn't make sense to me.
I just want to say your sadness and worries are totally justifiable and should be taken seriously.

It sounds like your father could use some professional help. Is there someone in your family, for example an uncle, or a friend of your father's that you know, who can step in? Is there an alcohol abuse hotline in your area (such hotlines are anonymous and confidential, so feel free to call if there is one)? I hope your father appreciates you and your efforts to help, and hope you take care of yourself because you deserve peace of mind to say the least.

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aexthetic
Posts: 6
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Location: Portugal

Re: i'm not sure

Postby aexthetic » Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:02 am

maybe you're right, but i'm not sure
thing is that i've been with these feelings for a few years now and i never ever told anyonw until now, because i don't want to worry or even bother anyone...

well the only one who could help my father through this whole situation was my grandmother, but unfortunately she passed away and my father drowned his feelings in alcohol, he is barely at home, mostly because of work but also because of his addiction
but even if he comes home drunk that isn't the real problem because he goes straight to his bed ans doesn't bother anyone, the problem is that his addiction might do bad things to him, i hope not...
even if we were to seek for professional help he would reject it, and there's no one of my family that could really help him, since most of them don't live in the same state that we do

but thank you very much for you help :)

Jstar845
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:45 pm

Re: i'm not sure

Postby Jstar845 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 5:02 pm

Hello, Thanks for being courageous and posting. I see your strength through all of this and this is the most important thing. I know you said you are stressed and tired and sometimes life and life’s situations make us feel this way. Remember that you are not alone. I know that your life is worth the fight and that you have much worth. I see that you are a loving and caring friend who has been there for her. I also know that it would hurt her if something happened to you. The both of you need each other and can support each other. This is what friendship is all about. This is frustrating to your mom and the way she is handling this it seems she is taking it out on you and this is not fair. I appreciate you reaching out for help and how you handled this situation to get help. I have two numbers for you please call these two numbers if you need them in the future the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It’s a 24- hour confidential hotline. They can talk to you when you feel this way and help with preventive measures. Also, you can call; The Samaritans it’s a 24-hour confidential hotline at (212) 673-3000. They help through anything. Hugs!


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