Extremely lonely and depressed.

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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TheList
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:55 am

Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby TheList » Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:28 am

I'm 19 years old, and I literally have 0 friends ands it's killing me so much. Since school ended everyone that considered me to be one of there just friends have just let me down and now I'm left alone. For almost a year now I haven't had anything to do I just don't enjoy videos games as much as I nearly did before I don't enjoy anything at all. All I can do is reminisce on the fun times as a kid and now everything just sucks. Everyone in my family were having a blast when they were my age and it's driving me nuts. Everyone that I ask to hang out just lets me down last minute literally every single time and it kills me so much. Had 5 different jobs in less than a year I spend all my money on weed since it's the closest thing that can keep me happy and stop me from trying to have suicidal thoughts. It's extremely hard to make friends since everyone I've worked with were like 20+ older than me I like the girl that I work with now that's my age but it's the bosses daughter so I'll just remain in the friendzone and we barely work together. I always worry about what people think of me it stops me from being social and trying new things I can't help it. Everyone at school told me "We will remain good friends after school" blah blah and it's like now where are you now when I need a friend the most. Even my closest friend in school lets me down Everytime I call him to hangout saying he has chores literally everytime. Literally nobody texts me except my dad or my brother asking to borrow money. Like I'm 19 I should be out having the time of my life with friends and I'm home alone every night literally.Alot of nights I just sit at my computer desk and just cry cause I literally have nobody. Ughh I just hate my life so f****** much. I'm just going to be alone my whole life.

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Louise
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Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 6:25 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby Louise » Thu Jun 01, 2017 10:00 am

Hi I can relate to this a bit. I was so shy and scared of people I never made connections and as people moved away and settled down I ended up with 1 friend I could socialise with when she had a babysitter. I was so scared to put myself out there that i became awkward and quiet and I think I made people uncomfortable! Haha.
I eventually joined social groups through facebook and had to practice talking to people, I didn't make new friends straight away, took a year, and not everyone wants to be friends. It's a bit like dating, you have to find people that are a good age, you can get along with, add them on facebook and try set up seeing them again. Show your good side and be bubbly and put yourself out there. For me I had to fake being confident and happy.
Weed can make you lazy and spaced out so it might not be the best for socialising?
Are there any groups you can join? Team sports, around me they have websites specifically for people to make friends.

TheList
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:55 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby TheList » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:28 am

Louise wrote:Hi I can relate to this a bit. I was so shy and scared of people I never made connections and as people moved away and settled down I ended up with 1 friend I could socialise with when she had a babysitter. I was so scared to put myself out there that i became awkward and quiet and I think I made people uncomfortable! Haha.
I eventually joined social groups through facebook and had to practice talking to people, I didn't make new friends straight away, took a year, and not everyone wants to be friends. It's a bit like dating, you have to find people that are a good age, you can get along with, add them on facebook and try set up seeing them again. Show your good side and be bubbly and put yourself out there. For me I had to fake being confident and happy.
Weed can make you lazy and spaced out so it might not be the best for socialising?
Are there any groups you can join? Team sports, around me they have websites specifically for people to make friends.


Thanks for the feedback :). Unfortunately I really hate sports since while I was in school people would be extremely judgemental if you mess up or something now I hate absolutely hate playing sports. I'm always worried about what people would think of me so I'm always worried about what I do around others. And for weed I've smoked it so much it just helps me not to go crazy I'm always wanting to do stuff it's just everybody let's me done last minute literally haven't seen anyone I went to school with since last December.

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Louise
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Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 6:25 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby Louise » Thu Jun 01, 2017 2:49 pm

That's why it might be good to expand your friendship group. So you have more people to go out with but you'll have to try meet people first. Sports is an example but there should be clubs and social groups you can join to meet people. Socialising doesn't come natural to everyone, it's like a learned skill!

sultan
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 10:20 pm

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby sultan » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:03 pm

Sorry to hear about your Situation but don't worry as these Feelings are Temporary and will diffuse with passage of Time. I would give you a suggestion. Why Don't You Ask God To give you a good friend. I mean everything is been given to us by God so why don't ask for a good friend
I will give you my example . In my class when I use to turn around and have a look every one was talking to other guy or girl but I was sitting alone and looking all around my class . Time passed by and I am came in University. There I met someone who taught me a thing . Ask every thing for yourself from God and God will reply you .I will tell you how
Close your Eyes and empty your Mind will all thoughts . Feel that God is looking you and showering its blessings on you . When you get that Feel Call God thrice in heart with love like you Call your Mom or Dad and after that in your heart ask God to give a good friend and then open your eyes
I did this and I got my love of life in matter of no time . So it's all about faith and belief in God that drives us. Remember that Trust and Faith in God is out ultimate necessity . If we don't have that thing then surely we will end up in depression and feel of being alone.
If you need further help on this matter do let me know dear

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Justyaaveraggurl
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Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:26 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby Justyaaveraggurl » Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:07 pm

I know this is a tough time for you. Without belittling your experience, that happens a lot. A month after school, I had no friends. Everyone just seemed to move on into their own world. As hard as it may be, you have to let go. Your High School years was a season and chapter in your life. Now it's time to write a new chapter. I know that's hard because it was such a huge part of your life and now that it's over it feels like a loss. Almost like a death. I have to agree that the marijuana won't help. It may seemed okay and not a problem while you were in school and this wasn't an issue in your life but now that things are different it can definitely make you lazy and take away your drive to do anything else.

live2ndin
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:19 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby live2ndin » Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:59 pm

OP, you should be proud of yourself for reaching out to others for help. Often it is many small things that start nagging at us that lead up to bigger, more complex issues like depression and loneliness. Perhaps by starting small you can turn things around. What is one easy thing you can start working on that you think night make things better?

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat Jun 03, 2017 10:49 am

Hi, I can really relate to how your feeling. I too also suffer with this.

There's no easy advice or suggestions on what to say in that matter because making friends is different for everyone.

I don't if you need a confidence boost, a group or a therapist but it's best to talk to someone who will listen and get you to understand you. So maybe it's working on yourself first before putting yourself out there but only you know who you are.

Could you go back to thinking from childhood what you use to enjoy or at school did you like English, Art, Cooking etc. What did you use to do all the time.

Just thinking about the stuff you use to like can give you back your excitement a little and confidence. Remember all the good things and the joys of being a child.

Go back to being the child you use to be.

januarysummer
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2017 2:42 am

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby januarysummer » Tue Jun 20, 2017 3:15 am

I can relate to this so much and it pains me to read what you are going through (but it is simultaneously comforting to know someone else is experiencing the same thing). I'm 22 now, and when I got out of high school the same thing occurred. I felt invalidated and alienated my friends who alienated me in return, and quickly had none. I too used to love video games and became self-critical ("this is a waste of my life," etc. etc.) and no longer could allow myself to enjoy anything because I felt as though it was pointless. I am also addicted to weed and have been since 16 and have been smoking every day since. It feels like it kills me while keeping me alive.

If your problems stem from self-criticism, try as hard as you can to let yourself off the hook... actually try to enjoy your video games and even weed if you don't intend to quit. It helps to think about how your view of others differs so greatly from yourself, because then you will come to realize that you are as valuable as those around you. For me, I would think of people I admire, even if I didn't know them personally like famous people and whatnot, who engage in the same activities I engaged in. The feeling of self-hatred you get from thinking of yourself in the same act (say it's playing video games, or inconsistent jobs) is incongruent with the good feelings you have toward this person that you admire. Even if that person does not suffer from depression, it can help you realize that you fundamentally deserve the same treatment regardless of your internal state. Basically, try to like yourself from the outside in. And especially don't feel bad about not being a person who goes out every night- that is one thing that helped me the most that I only just learned. If you aren't going out because of depression, try to make the most of your isolation... I know that sounds weird but when you are alone, you get to know yourself so well, and depression can unfortunately be a part of that. If you aren't going out because you are genuinely introverted and wouldn't have the desire to party where you not depressed, accept that. Isolation can be a virtue and I think that there is a reason why so many brilliant people are depressed. I also recommend reading or listening to the audiobook of Andrew Soloman's "Noonday Demon."

As for the relationship thing, I can relate to that too. It is so impossible to believe that someone could love you when you don't love yourself, and that hate is projected onto others, which in turn makes them avoidant and you more depressed. I could be wrong but I think that your sense in the relationship realm is especially distorted. You will definitely find someone to relate to and to love, even if it is difficult at times. I'm a girl and felt like no one of the opposite sex would understand how much sadness I feel and it turned out to not be true. I also think it may be worth talking to your dad or brother about it if you feel comfortable. You should try to tell someone, even a stranger, who can get you help. Therapy was extremely hard at first because I was so stubborn, but years later I think it has changed my life. You can maybe consider antidepressants too or working on quitting smoking if you feel like it is hurting you.

I guess I don't know exactly what you need, but I can tell you for certain that you won't be alone for your whole life, physically or mentally. I can promise that

Gamermana
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:16 pm

Re: Extremely lonely and depressed.

Postby Gamermana » Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:09 am

If you are scared of what people would think of you while playing sports
You can allways buy some equipment for exercises at home...
You have to stay fit bud!


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