Confusion

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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East-from-west
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:07 pm

Confusion

Postby East-from-west » Wed Oct 12, 2016 7:35 pm

I don't really know how to explain this but I need to say this somehow. I have been struggling a lot over the past year and a friend of mine that struggles with depression told me that's likely what I have. I go up and down in mood, sometimes only being down for an hour or less, but the same goes for being up. When I'm at my worst then I'm questioning every thing I think, that I'm only making it up or over exaggerating my feelings. And I'm constantly thinking that I'm alone, that I'm in the way and that my friends only act like they like me because they are nice. I feel like I'm wasting my life away, that I've done nothing with my life and I never will. I know that I won't commit suicide because I'm too much of a coward, but I know that's good to and people would say that's not cowardice. But I'll be driving down the road sometimes just thinking about how I can run my car off the road, or sitting at home thinking of other ways to die. I also struggle a lot with telling myself that I'm just lying to myself about having depression, that I'm just making it all up. And I'm afraid that if I tell someone else they will just think the same thing. I guess mainly I'm just looking for a little reassurance that I'm not crazy.

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