I need to just disappear!
Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 6:46 pm
I can't take this anymore. I feel so unwanted, unloved, everything. No one likes me, even when they don't know me. I've been bullied my whole life, just for having a deformed ear. I can't go out anymore unless I am with someone I trust. The only time I go out is when I go to group and even they hate me there. They ignore me, they don't include me in anything they do, as soon as I try to join in they just push me aside like I was never there.
I have made plans to end it all, I want to, I just can't. I am a failure, I can't even end my life properly. Either I tell someone I am doing it and they stop me or I just can't.
This year has been nothing but rubbish for me. I got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, my birthday was ruined because my nan and granddad had a fight, then my granddad had to go to hospital, now I have just gotten pneumonia. I think its time to just go. Leave this cruel world and finally be happy.
I can't be happy on this earth no more, I can't even be myself. I want to be a boy, (I was born a female) but when I came out my mum refused to accept me. Now I just sit here in the wrong body crying every night. I just want to turn the on/off button off on my life. I just want to quit. Nothing ever goes right for me. I need help but I don't think anyone can help me with my messed up head. People think they know me, they don't. I want to tell people what goes on in my head but I know they will just get freaked out or just leave. People think its suicide, but its not. It's worse than that!
I have made plans to end it all, I want to, I just can't. I am a failure, I can't even end my life properly. Either I tell someone I am doing it and they stop me or I just can't.
This year has been nothing but rubbish for me. I got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, my birthday was ruined because my nan and granddad had a fight, then my granddad had to go to hospital, now I have just gotten pneumonia. I think its time to just go. Leave this cruel world and finally be happy.
I can't be happy on this earth no more, I can't even be myself. I want to be a boy, (I was born a female) but when I came out my mum refused to accept me. Now I just sit here in the wrong body crying every night. I just want to turn the on/off button off on my life. I just want to quit. Nothing ever goes right for me. I need help but I don't think anyone can help me with my messed up head. People think they know me, they don't. I want to tell people what goes on in my head but I know they will just get freaked out or just leave. People think its suicide, but its not. It's worse than that!