Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Tmb1357
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 1:44 am

Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby Tmb1357 » Sun Aug 21, 2016 2:06 am

I really need some advice to whoever personally has battled depression please. I am a girlfriend to a very loving sweet sensitive guy. Atleast I was until he relapsed back into his depression. Let me explain. We have been together and inseparable for almost two years, best friends for 5 years. He always knew he loved me while we were best friends, and all his previous relationships failed because he always knew he wanted me. He knows everything about me and I know everything about him. He's battled depression his whole life for the most part, and he's been on medication for it. He's aware of his problem and this summer he went off his medication finding out if he could be ok without it. Everything was fine until about 20 days ago, he just literally woke up one day and decided he needs space and broke up with me saying that he feels absolutely nothing he doesn't have any emotion he can't feel a single thing and for the first half of the 20 days we still said he loved each other and I asked him if he was planning on coming back to me after this is over he said yes, and then about a few days ago he changed he told me he doesn't want me to wait for him and he stopped saying he loved me because he said he doesn't feel any love anymore. I feel extremely confused because one day he will be able to say he loves me and misses me and then it's like everything gets worse the next day and he can't even say it back. I understand depression is real and he says he's changed completely and I asked him now to give me a chance with whoever he is now so atleast he is open to that..that's good right?. I love this guy I told him I would wait for him I'm not going to abandon him. I just am such an over thinker and I feel like I just need to say this to strangers and get an opinion because I am so scared he really is going to fall out of love with me. What does a depressed person want how do I act around him when I see him at school what do I do? Please help. I can't loose him

dougsan
Posts: 104
Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:59 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby dougsan » Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:27 pm

You're experiencing first hand what every important loving and loved contributor to my life experienced. When depression takes over me I can't admit to loving people because to do so would make me too vulnerable when I need all my energy to hold on to sanity. Those I love the most I curse the loudest ("I don't love you. Your presence is abhorrent." is something I said to the person I loved the most. This is me, not your boyfriend, of course. A very good shrink -- who doesn't dwell on the causes of my depression/bi-polar but treats them with the appropriate medicines -- has helped me to be much less a problem to those I love and love me.

Those who have survived my deepest lows -- and there are few of them -- learned to understand I am flawed and they should not try to discuss what my depression causes me to do. They know I will be back (with the right meds I am never "lost to depression" for more than a day or two) and my love for them will come back with me.

I can't speak for your boyfriend, obviously, but I hope for you he does return. In his place I would want you to keep in touch without any pressure. I would enjoy (without showing it) hearing you love me. I would hope you would explain how you would support me if I sought medical assistance and that I SHOULD SEEK MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.

You are on a long and difficult trip. I offer any assistance ...
A leaf falls, lonliness
e.e. cummings

Tmb1357
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 1:44 am

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby Tmb1357 » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:05 am

Thank you so much. Wow time has flew by since then. He in fact did come back and now tells me he had snapped out of "it", and began to feel better. He tells me now he wants forever and now after going through that episode he's sure of it. He says he regrets ever leaving and he now sees that was a mistake. I now have so much trouble believing anything he says. I live in fear of him waking up again and leaving.

Walman
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 12:42 pm

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby Walman » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:18 pm

It sounds like ur bf has a bipolar disorder, what has helped me recently is reading book and watching documentaries, mostly focusing on self development and neuroscience, it isnt a instant fix, but it takes time, let me know if i can help somehow, so in turn i can help myself

DrHPA42617
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:45 pm

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby DrHPA42617 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:01 pm

Hi Tmb1357,

I hope things have been going well for your and your bf! I obviously can't speak for him, but I do suffer from depression and can maybe offer some insight in that regard. A depressive episode essentially drains a person of their confidence, self-esteem, and ability to experience emotions in a normal way. I know for me when I'm in the throes of an episode I can only think of myself as being a burden to those that care about me, like a particularly unpleasant wet blanket. It may be that your bf felt like this when he left before, and he cares about you so much that he just wanted to protect you from having to "deal with" him. I've definitely done this before. My advice to you would be to keep reminding him that you love him unconditionally, that he needs to let you be there for him if he's feeling depressed. Depression is an incredibly uncomfortable malady to have to deal with, but so are migraine headaches and high blood pressure. You wouldn't love him any less if he suffered from the latter two. Why would this situation be any different? Lastly, if he isn't already seeing a psychiatrist and/or therapist, encourage him to do so.

I hope this is helpful, and I wish you both the very best.
Cheers.

heartfullofpain
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:56 am

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby heartfullofpain » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:13 am

I am not sure to begin but i feel that there r so many people just waiting to cause me more pain. My sister doesn't want me to do or take my mom anywhere every time my mom says she ask me to do something for her she sends me a nasty text message telling me to leave her the ***** away from her house . Then last nite my grandson whom i raised from a baby told me that years ago is when i pushed him away he was in therapy and had to go with his mobile thearpist on an outing and i had to force him to go because he had separation anxiety and no he throws it in my face that i have been pushing him away that was back in 1990 when i was going through my divorce. I am hurting so much from all of this. then i get a message from his sister that i was saying thing about the boys she is dating and she wants me to stay out of her business. I need help cause everyone is out to take everybody away from me. I have no one to talk to so please give me advise. I am making appointments with cemeteries for a burial plott thats how deppressed i am

heartfullofpain
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:56 am

Re: Somebody who has battled with depression please help.

Postby heartfullofpain » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:15 am

I am not sure to begin but i feel that there r so many people just waiting to cause me more pain. My sister doesn't want me to do or take my mom anywhere every time my mom says she ask me to do something for her she sends me a nasty text message telling me to leave her the ***** away from her house . Then last nite my grandson whom i raised from a baby told me that years ago is when i pushed him away he was in therapy and had to go with his mobile thearpist on an outing and i had to force him to go because he had separation anxiety and no he throws it in my face that i have been pushing him away that was back in 1990 when i was going through my divorce. I am hurting so much from all of this. then i get a message from his sister that i was saying thing about the boys she is dating and she wants me to stay out of her business. I need help cause everyone is out to take everybody away from me. I have no one to talk to so please give me advise. I am making appointments with cemeteries for a burial plott thats how deppressed i am


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