Letter to My Ex

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Shybugg
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:51 pm
Location: Canada

Letter to My Ex

Postby Shybugg » Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:42 pm

My Dearest Ex...
And believe me, I use that term very sarcastically. I am writing this letter here because I NEED to express my feelings, but, talking to you would as usual, avail me nothing. You never cared enough to make the relationship work while we were in it, why should you care what the damaging effects of 13 years with you has left behind.
In no particular order, here are the things I DO NOT miss about you.
Your breath, it is called a TOOTH BRUSH, you should get reaquainted with one. Your breath is so bad it could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. I do not miss talking to you an having to avoid getting your breath in my face in order not to gag. And kissing you? Why do you think I mostly avoided it?
Your gas and bathroom habits.
What you do to a bathroom is NOT HUMAN!!!!!! You complained about it all the time, yet did nothing and maintained a crap diet outside of the meals I cooked for you. And sleeping with you was a crap shoot, between the farting, and lip smacking, and drooling, and snoring........even ear plugs, two fans and the radio on at night did nothing to cancel you out. And I should demand a refund on all the air freshener I had to purchase!!
The SNORING the SNORING the SNORING!!!!!!!!
I begged you to use your CPAP machine, I wanted both of us to get a good nights sleep! Between your sleep apnea and listening to you attempting to break the sound barrier every night, it is a wonder I was not insane!
And the sex......what sex?
13 years of being the ONLY one to initiate sex. The only time you ever showed physical affection was in bed and was mostly geared to your satisfaction, as quickly as possible. No wonder I bought "toys".
13 years of emotional rejection has left me so badly scarred emotionally I am now afraid to be physically affectionate to anyone. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I feel repulsive, I feel unlovable, and like my TOUCH is physically repulsive to others.
I tried to hug a friend I had not seen i years, thanks to you by the way, and I felt like I had done something wrong. I actually apologized for being so impulsive. I no longer know how to be intimate!!!!!! I am afraid to show affection out of fear of rejection!!!!
And thanks for making me responsible for all the household bills. If I didn't nag you every month to pay your half of the rent I would have been responsible for THAT as well! I LOVED paying for all the groceries, all the utilities, entertainment, and little extras. You spent your money on movies, cigarettes, and your vehicle. If we went OUT, I PAID!!!!
Thanks for the humiliation of getting arrested because you tried to pay for a prostitute. Ya, I LOVED having to help you get your car out of impound.
I know you sexually assaulted my brothers wife. I know now it lasted for over a year. I now know about the flirting and the inappropriate comments to my mom and her friends. I even know you made a pass at a few of them.
And the final straw, getting a woman 15 years younger pregnant, using my half of the rent to buy her an engagement ring, and proposing to her the DAY after my daughters wedding, that YOU attended with all your secrets. You had the nerve to walk her down the aisle with me and to actually dance the father daughter dance with her. All the while knowing you were going to be hurting her.
You couldn't just end it when you started sleeping with this new woman, you had to drag it out until after the wedding for whatever selfish reasons you had? We agree it would have been better if you had just left before the wedding because you hurt my daughter and that is the most unforgivable thing of all.
You lied to her and you betrayed her trust. She called you dad, despite the fact that she was not yours.
We are stuck with those pictures of you. Her day is forever tarnished, that is something you can never apologize enough for. These things and many more i do not miss about you.
We both know why I stayed so long, I was afraid to be on my own. I felt like you were too immature to make it on your own and I was right. I have a lot of healing to do, and I am doing it one day at a time.
One day I might be able to forgive you. I might be able to think about you without my stomach hurting or feeling like a fool for wasting all those years. I might even be able to stop hating you one day.
For all the damage you did, for all you took from me, the hurt you caused, and the hurt you cause my daughter. One day......I will no longer think of you with any feelings what so ever. I look forward to that day.
Good bye.
The most dangerous animal in the world...
Is a smiling Woman...
Sitting in silence...

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 457
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:02 pm

Could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. ha ha That one is priceless. You go girl !!

I hope someday that you find someone who is deserving of you. And makes all your dreams come true. I'm sorry your ex put you through this. We all deserve the very best in life and I hope with all my heart that you do find that. My fingers are certainly crossed for you.

Please take care always

love and hugs
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! -- Rocky Balboa

Shybugg
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:51 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Shybugg » Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:11 pm

Thanks! I spoke the truth. Maybe one day, but I doubt it. I am 45 years old and am tired of games and well, just tired, lol. I am content to have my small family and a few good friends. The only man in my life poops in a box, and I am happy with that. My cat, fyi, lol.
The most dangerous animal in the world...

Is a smiling Woman...

Sitting in silence...

User avatar
JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 457
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Wed Feb 18, 2015 8:26 pm

"between the farting, and lip smacking, and drooling, and snoring........even ear plugs, two fans and the radio on at night did nothing to cancel you out" ....

ha ha ha... oh Lord. I'm laughing so hard here I'm bawling. ha ha... Not making light of what you've went through, but gosh, I sure needed that laugh. lol Thank you.

I know what you mean about your cat. I feel the same way about all of mine. :P 8) :lol:

But also in all seriousness I'm very sorry he hurt you and your daughter like that. You sound like an amazingly strong person. You got lots of spunk inside you !! That's all you need to forget someone like him. YOU ROCK always

love and hugs
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! -- Rocky Balboa

Shybugg
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:51 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Shybugg » Wed Feb 18, 2015 8:56 pm

Not a problem. My sense of humor has always been key to my sanity. I am glad you were able to laugh.
My daughter and I remain a tight little unit, and we are working it out together and seperately. My furry son has been a huge source of comfort and entertainment since I moved. He is all I need male companion wise, lol.
And thank you, my daughter thinks I rock too!
The most dangerous animal in the world...

Is a smiling Woman...

Sitting in silence...

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:34 am

Idea for a science fiction story:

Genetic Modification and cloning is real.

Women start to embed their pet's DNA into the "generic human" genome and grow them.

In 100 years all humans have tails.


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