Describe Depression

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Shybugg
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:51 pm
Location: Canada

Describe Depression

Postby Shybugg » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:58 am

[/b]Depression is....
I am naked and alone, in the dark. It is windy and cold, and the wind whispers, it sometimes howls. There are voices in the wind. I hear my stepfather, whispering,then shouting. Other times the voices I hear are my own, or my mothers, or the voice of a long ago ex. They are all whispering terrible things.
I should kill myself.
I am worthless.
I deserved the broken bones.
I deserved to be raped.
You are a terrible mother.
You don't deserve her.
You should give her to your sister and walk away.
You will never be anything.
The wind lashes me like a whip. It leaves it's mark.
I am cowering against a giant pane of glass, it is cold against my skin.
On the other side is my family, my friends, everyone I love and admire. They are gathered around a huge table feasting and laughing and basking in the warmth of the room and each others company.
I pound my fists against the glass and scream. No one seems to hear me. I stand up and throw myself against the glass. I feel the shuddering impact and fall back to the ground now broken, but still screaming. I crawl back.
I place my bloody hands against the glass and peer in to the room, crying and pleading for someone, anyone to take notice of me.
Someone does. It is a bald headed little man I failed to notice until now, but I have seen him before.
He is my depression. He is the physical embodiment of this disease, and he sees me.
He gets up, a slow nasty grin appearing on his face. He walks over to the window and stands there staring down at me. He is gloating.
He takes a sip from the glass he is holding. Without a word, but maintaining eye contact and with that grin, he slowly lets the blinds down. He wiggles his fingers at me as he closes the blinds, blocking me from the room and my loved ones.
I let out a pleading sob and go limp.
There is no warm room for me. No loved ones, and no laughter.
I am alone in the dark, wounded and afraid. The wind lashes me, endlessly whispering and howling.

emily67
Posts: 92
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:35 am

Postby emily67 » Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:57 am

thank you for sharing that- you have a way with words

the way i've always tried to describe depression is that you're in an elevator and it is stuck on the first floor

the people (or in this case, thoughts and neggative feelings) are stuck in a really small space and because they don't have a lot of room, they invade you constantly

then, without any warning, the elevator doors open, the thoughts vannish, and you are left standing their feeling foolish. (or feeling empty)

Shybugg
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:51 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Shybugg » Tue Jan 27, 2015 10:49 am

Thanks. This is something I wrote a while ago. A temporary therapist asked me to describe what depression is to me. I like your description too, it's very easy to visualize and makes sense.
I am very glad I stumbled upon this site, it has helped already in the short time since I joined up.


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