indi: heya
Guest5146: hi
Guest5146: im new here
Guest5146: so what do we talk about?
indi: anything really! how are you?
Guest5146: im allright.well not sure
indi: not sure?
Guest5146: yea
Guest5146: well how about you?how are you?
indi: i'm okay thanks, a bit anxious though
Guest5146: anxious?
indi: yeah
indi: like nervous
Guest5146: listen ive really not done this before.i just googled chat about depression and im here.how does these chat work?do we shareto each other or ?
indi: yes we talk about depression and things you feel like you want to talk about or ask things about
Guest5146: okay what are you nervous about?
indi: life in general
indi: are you feeling a bit down?
Guest5146: my thing is lack of focus,no presence of mind,not practical enough,and not at all consistent with these traits.
Guest5146: yea im feeling down right now
Guest5146: i cant think things clear enough
indi: i understand
indi: i am like that too
Guest5146: and that gets me in trouble with myself
indi: yeah
Guest5146: i dont think i care about others' opinion of me but i cant be confident to myself.
indi: its great you don't care about what people think of you!! thats such an amazing quality
Guest5146: and sometimes i feel like really good about myself but i cant manage to make those times last longer
indi: you will in time have confidence in yourself, you will see your potential and how amazing you are, i see it and we haven't spoken for long!!
indi: are you doing anything in those moments when you feel really good about yourself?
Guest5146: no .please dont be so sure of me this soon.
Guest5146: yea.that generally happens when i surprise myself
indi: you should keep surprising yourself
indi: in a good way
Guest5146: im not even sure that what i said are really what i mean in overall about my life.maybe im feeling good rite now.how do people talk about their life in general.i cant see the "general in my life".i dont see any trait consistent enough to call my own.i dont know what i like or dont like .at times i avoid what i think i loved at some other moment,and even that is not consistent
indi: it sounds like you don't really know who you are - and thats totally okay, you find yourself through moments in life, through situations and how you handle yourself when talking to people
Guest5146: and i can express what im feeling to a complete stranger but im not at all this expressive while talking to people i know.
indi: its harder telling the people closest to you in how you are feeling
indi: but when you do tell them, its the best thing
Guest5146: i cant deal with people .and even this is not consistent.sometimes when im feeling good,i feel proud and happy of myself about how i dealt with what came to be.they dont last much.and when im down i cant really remember anything good about me.
Guest5146: sometimes i feel like a magician .i can do anything in those moments or at least i feel so,im not sure
indi: do you have anyone to talk about how you are feeling in your life?
indi: i totally understand how you feel
Guest5146: rite now i just wish that there be consistency in what i feel,do,say,everything.ill accept it if its totally bad feelings
Guest5146: im sorry but even (no disrespect to you) i dont totally understand how i feel
Guest5146: okay,is this too depressing to be talked about in a depression chat room?
indi: no its not too depressing at all! its great you are talking about how you feel instead of keeping it bottled up
Guest5146: yea i have a friend,a girl,nothing else,i sometimes talk to her in facebook ,,.sometimes i talk to her all night long and sometimes i avoid her,.you know i make an excuse and leave early ar not respond at all.its like that with everybody i know
indi: yes
Guest5146: add fear and/or lack of attatchment to people,feelings,things to my traits
indi: yeah
Guest5146: and the hardest part of all is despite all this im welcome everywhere,people expect me,only i somehow manage to push all of them away