Thought They'd Changed

[RedTeardrops]

I haven't posted in a long time, that's because my "friends" started to become better friends to me. Over the last few months or so they included me more in shopping trips and sleepovers. I thought they had changed, I was finally happy, and felt wanted. Just last week one of my "friends" invited me and my other "friend" to her birthday sleepover. Of course, I said yes, I hadn't gone to a sleepover in God knows how long, so I was raring to go. I waited and waited for her to confirm the date of the sleepover, but she never did, so I was a bit confused when I went onto my snapchat to see that she had posted many pictures of her and my other "friend" at her sleepover.. I knew it, I just knew from the start that they would leave me out yet again, but I pushed that thought to the back of my mind because I had a glimmer of hope that they actually wanted me there, they never changed, not one bit. It hurt so much. I actually feel like I'm not wanted by anyone. My school's actually off for 2 weeks for the October holidays and I was dreading coming off. I knew that for 2 weeks, I'd be doing nothing because no one even gives a shit about me and no one even bothers to invite me anywhere. I try to make plans with people but everyone is busy with their other friends. I feel shit and worthless and lonely.

[Ieris]

Hello RedTeardrops,

Sorry to hear what happened with the sleep over. I know how these things work and its not nice being left out and not being a part of the inner circle. With groups, everybody plays a role, some have more authority over the others (leaders and followers). If one of the stronger characters don't want you there then there isn't much you can do so why be part of a group that treats you like an outcast?

Are these girls all from your school? Do you have out of school friends?
Like you said, you have 2 weeks off so do some activities/classes and make some new friends. Create your own group and fill them with people that you like. Good friends are hard to come by so don't feel too upset that you haven't found them. Pick those that bring you up not bring you down, no company is better than bad company x

[RedTeardrops]

That group is the only real group I have, even though all of that group are backstabbing and two-faced I don't really have anyone else as I'm not much of a sociable person. I don't have anyone to hang out with outside of school either, which is really frustrating. I end up just going places with my mum all the time because that's the only real option. I must admit, my mum does cheer me up, but it would be nice to actually have proper friends to hang out with. It really brings me down just seeing pictures of my "friends" from my group on Snapchat or facebook, and they're all having fun without me. I sometimes ask myself questions like: "Am I good enough?" "Why do they hate me?" "Have I done something wrong?" But I know I've been a good enough friend to them!

[Ieris]

I don't think that they hate you or that you're not good enough. You just haven't met the right people who can bring you out of your shell and treat you like a real friend. with this group it seems like you have to tiptoe around them and make sure you do nothing wrong but the truth is you can do everything right and they can still treat you the same way.

How many of them are there in this group? Is there anyone in particular that you are closer to? I think you can still hang out with them from time to time but I wouldn't classify them as "friends" if they leave you out this way.

I am glad that you have your mum there for you to cheer you up. What are your hobbies? Are there any new things you would like to learn? If so, look into starting some out of school activities.

Don't ever think you are not good enough, what other people think doesn't define who you are. It's what you think that is important, personally if someone was making me feel sad I cut them out of my life completely. I surround myself with those who make me happy and you should do the same xx