So here's the thing.. Lately I've been beyond depressed, waking up every morning whaling so much to the point it could get unbearable. I have such a wonderful girlfriend, my mother, brother and grandmother who always support me with heart. I am not clinically depressed but I tend to overthink so much about problems like school etc.and I assume this is what gets me sad ;(( so lately, I've been overthinking a lot about taking more classes this upcoming semester so I finish the school earlier or on time especially since I took only 2 courses previous semester in fall(originally I signed up for 4 and I ended up dropping 2 because the professors seemed very mean and unorganized:'[ .) So I went on my schools website and tried registering for more but I am afraid and so scared that I am literally crying right now just thinking about it. I am a biology major and my gpa is fairly good 3.78. I tried registering for bio2 course but the professor teaching it so badly rated and I just can't ;((((( I spoke with my friend who happened to take his class and told me to stay away from him because you'll be studying your life away every single day in order to memorize 5-6 chapter tests; each chapter looking extremely long ;'(((( I am such a coward and I constantly call myself names that I am no use in this world ;'''''(((( but my girlfriend keeps me going so I am not suicidal. I really wish I could have someone who could understand my stress and sadness.... I am so afraid ;((( please help me someone! I just can't stop crying! ;'( ;'((( I am 21 years old male
EDIT: there isn't really a big choice of professors for the course. I really should have listened to my girlfriend when she told me to sign up for bio2 professor who wasn't rated at all. I would feel so much better knowing nothing about him/her ;(((((
Hi guys I need help ;(
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Hello Marus.
I'm 21 years old as well. At university. Male. I guess that's hardly relevant for the rest of my answer but well, go figure, right?
I understand your stress and sadness, of course I do. This stress and sadness is the natural results of expectations not being met. These expectations are of different nature. Some are the general expectations of society; one’s supposed to be able to contribute and use ones time effectively. Some are the expectations of your loved ones, originating in a love and care for you; they want you to be able to go through this and setup a basis for a relatively sound and happy life. And some are the expectations of yourself, created and enforced by the pressure of outside expectations.
Now let’s examine these aspects one at a time. In my experience, the expectations of society should be disregarded without further hesitation. Easier said than done one might think, but understanding is a good first step to letting go. These expectations only limit you and bring you down. When you meet a job employer or a teacher, you owe them nothing. When you meet someone distant that asks what you’re doing with your life, you do not need to feel ashamed of the truth regardless of what that truth is. If you’re really doing it right, you’re not even giving these people your respect before they can prove themselves. These people rarely got your best interests in mind. This is not inherently bad of them or cynical of you to think, it is simply the way things generally are.
My advice is to give society and its agenda your pity at most.
The expectations of your loved ones are probably a different story. The part that’s meaningful to examine about these expectations is that they’re actually just a natural product of these people’s love and care for you. Because these people do have your best interests in mind, they express the hope and desire that you’ll do well for yourself. To you, this in turn might feel like expectations. An important difference between these expectations and the expectations of society is this: society only wants to profit off of you; to suck you dry and leave nothing left. Your loved ones don’t care what they’ll gain from you being successful; they just want you to be doing well for yourself because in their experience that will make you a happier person (which is not necessarily true but this is what the mind assumes).
My advice is to pay close attention to the sources from where these expectations arise. Cherish the love that give rise to these movements in the minds of your loved ones. Do not hold the mind’s conclusions and assumptions themselves too tight; they are just a product of something deeper, vaster and infinitely more powerful and true.
Your own expectations can in a way be seen as a result of other’s expectations. To study the functioning of your own mind is what we’re doing right now. This is a life’s task. What conclusions does your mind make and on what grounds? To observe, but not necessarily to judge, is the means with which we reach insight. Complete honesty with yourself is the key factor which unlocks literary everything else.
Anyway whether you understand that or not right now is neglectable. You’re not a coward, people rarely are. Don’t be afraid; when people say that there’s nothing to be afraid of they aren’t talking out their asses. They’re actually much more grounded in reality than most of us are. You might still be afraid. You probably still feel lost and alone. Realize that there’s great (limitless, in fact) potential for happiness within yourself regardless of how things go in the outside world. You could literary fail in every conventional and unconventional sense. There would still be limitless potential within you waiting to be found, experienced and expressed.
I'm 21 years old as well. At university. Male. I guess that's hardly relevant for the rest of my answer but well, go figure, right?
I understand your stress and sadness, of course I do. This stress and sadness is the natural results of expectations not being met. These expectations are of different nature. Some are the general expectations of society; one’s supposed to be able to contribute and use ones time effectively. Some are the expectations of your loved ones, originating in a love and care for you; they want you to be able to go through this and setup a basis for a relatively sound and happy life. And some are the expectations of yourself, created and enforced by the pressure of outside expectations.
Now let’s examine these aspects one at a time. In my experience, the expectations of society should be disregarded without further hesitation. Easier said than done one might think, but understanding is a good first step to letting go. These expectations only limit you and bring you down. When you meet a job employer or a teacher, you owe them nothing. When you meet someone distant that asks what you’re doing with your life, you do not need to feel ashamed of the truth regardless of what that truth is. If you’re really doing it right, you’re not even giving these people your respect before they can prove themselves. These people rarely got your best interests in mind. This is not inherently bad of them or cynical of you to think, it is simply the way things generally are.
My advice is to give society and its agenda your pity at most.
The expectations of your loved ones are probably a different story. The part that’s meaningful to examine about these expectations is that they’re actually just a natural product of these people’s love and care for you. Because these people do have your best interests in mind, they express the hope and desire that you’ll do well for yourself. To you, this in turn might feel like expectations. An important difference between these expectations and the expectations of society is this: society only wants to profit off of you; to suck you dry and leave nothing left. Your loved ones don’t care what they’ll gain from you being successful; they just want you to be doing well for yourself because in their experience that will make you a happier person (which is not necessarily true but this is what the mind assumes).
My advice is to pay close attention to the sources from where these expectations arise. Cherish the love that give rise to these movements in the minds of your loved ones. Do not hold the mind’s conclusions and assumptions themselves too tight; they are just a product of something deeper, vaster and infinitely more powerful and true.
Your own expectations can in a way be seen as a result of other’s expectations. To study the functioning of your own mind is what we’re doing right now. This is a life’s task. What conclusions does your mind make and on what grounds? To observe, but not necessarily to judge, is the means with which we reach insight. Complete honesty with yourself is the key factor which unlocks literary everything else.
Anyway whether you understand that or not right now is neglectable. You’re not a coward, people rarely are. Don’t be afraid; when people say that there’s nothing to be afraid of they aren’t talking out their asses. They’re actually much more grounded in reality than most of us are. You might still be afraid. You probably still feel lost and alone. Realize that there’s great (limitless, in fact) potential for happiness within yourself regardless of how things go in the outside world. You could literary fail in every conventional and unconventional sense. There would still be limitless potential within you waiting to be found, experienced and expressed.
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