Worthless

[RedTeardrops]

I feel so worthless. Ever since my friends started acting weird towards me (being distant, mocking me, not inviting me out with them, basically pushing me out of their friendship circle) i've learnt to be civil with them, just to avoid awkwardness during school. But I just feel so alone, especially after school, at weekends, and on school holidays. I don't have anyone close to me anymore, no one to hang out with. It honestly feels shit. Everyday i'm just sulking in my room, engrossed in a book, or some crappy reality show. I can tell my mum feels bad for me. I don't need anyones pity though, I just want to have some decent friends. In my room, it feels like I'm just wasting myself away, I feel so lonely and often cry. A couple of months back I even started self-harming myself, I've basically stopped now though. I've barely had any fresh air, thats hardly healthy. Someone help the girl who's currently crying her eyes out in her room - me.

[Frame]

Sometimes it's hard for me to know what to say, but I think saying anything to let you know someones listening is the right thing. Looking back at thoughts I've had in the past (advice for something positive to do) they seem two fit into two categories; more involvement or less involvement.

But it's a subtle thing because, by less involvement, I don't mean pulling away or isolating yourself. I mean to being quite and listening. Listening and not reacting can be a super difficult thing to do, but more often than not allows ideas to surface about ways to act that allow you to feel better. And that's what we want; you to feel better.


And by more involvement I don't mean to wade in there and confront anyone. I have gotten many positive replies when I suggest someone find a place to volunteer their time, even for a little while each week. They will be appreciated. They will be doing something they know how to do, so it won't be a challenge every minute. And we can interact in a situation where a mistake won't have lasting or dyer consequences. Sometimes we can even make lasting relationships. In any case we can be with people and also not be stressed, doing something that won't be harmful or seem a waste of time.

Anyway,
something said,
be well,
Frame

[Frame]

Wondering how your doing Red;

Have any of those books your reading given you ant fresh thoughts? That's one thing about books for me; no matter what the subject, I generally find something that mirrors real life in a slightly different way than I'm used to thinking.

I just want you to know, no matter how you struggle, no matter how little progress you feel your making, that you are worthy. You may find later, that in all this angst, you were doing more than it seemed.

Frame.