Do you ever get this feeling?

[BritAurora]

Where you're so depressed that anytime you feel happy you start to feel even worse about yourself because you know that happiness is fake and phony and will soon diminish and you don't deserve it. It's like your so happy you feel sick. You go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, and have this gut wrenching feeling that you made some kind of mistake.

I get this all the time, does anyone else here do to?

[Frame]

Something similar Brit; Most of my life I've come up short, I've always been in danger of failing, of not making the cut. I've always had to put a lot more effort into most things in order to be average. It's gotten so I'm used to loosing ground, and failure.

And there have been a few times in my life where I had clearly succeeded and that felt very good. But the times I'm most worried, the nights I can't sleep are when it looks I might, like could possibly succeed. Those times are unfamiliar and surrealistic.

I know that to finally succeed we have to be moving toward success, but I've made so many strong efforts begin to succeed only to turn at unexpected moments, that I no longer expect success; it just feels like a setup. Something inside me tells me I'm wasting my time. I know I haven't the focus to make success real or at least real in my view and most of those around me.

Thus my signature.

[Frame]

Now, having said that; I have to add that we must convince ourselves we deserve good things in order to have them. And so you and I must both somehow convince ourselves we deserve to be happy. That I believe is a key ingredient.

So keep posting, maybe we'll find the answer.

[BritAurora]

Something similar Brit; Most of my life I've come up short, I've always been in danger of failing, of not making the cut. I've always had to put a lot more effort into most things in order to be average. It's gotten so I'm used to loosing ground, and failure.

And there have been a few times in my life where I had clearly succeeded and that felt very good. But the times I'm most worried, the nights I can't sleep are when it looks I might, like could possibly succeed. Those times are unfamiliar and surrealistic.

I know that to finally succeed we have to be moving toward success, but I've made so many strong efforts begin to succeed only to turn at unexpected moments, that I no longer expect success; it just feels like a setup. Something inside me tells me I'm wasting my time. I know I haven't the focus to make success real or at least real in my view and most of those around me.

Thus my signature.

Now, having said that; I have to add that we must convince ourselves we deserve good things in order to have them. And so you and I must both somehow convince ourselves we deserve to be happy. That I believe is a key ingredient.

So keep posting, maybe we'll find the answer.

I know exactly how that feels. Like you try and try and try SO HARD. But you get nothing out of it.

Lately, i'v also been trying to find ways to convince myself that I need my love and happiness.

Thank you <3

[Frame]

Another thought comes from earlier quote:

[quote=Obayan]Frame, it doesn't matter what you accomplished this day or that day. What will happen will happen eventually as long as you don't give up. What matters is that today you made a move. You didn't sit still. You didn't give up. You didn't do any of that. But you did make a move. That's all that counts. Even if it was in the wrong direction, it counts. Because you were aware enough to know it was the wrong direction and can make another move tomarrow, hopefully in the right direction again.[/quote]

The gist I take is, that whether we feel we are making progress is not necessarily connected to whether we actually are making progress. We may realize later, that we were doing better than felt.