It's Unfair To Care

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Frame
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Location: Pennsylvania

It's Unfair To Care

Postby Frame » Fri Jul 12, 2013 7:33 pm

I can't sleep; we can't sleep at night, NOT because the wolves are gnawing our bones but because we care about what people think.

I thought I felt a diatribe coming on;
but,
as it turns out, that's all I have to say.

Alaska1958
Posts: 178
Joined: Sat Jul 06, 2013 11:23 pm

How did things go today?

Postby Alaska1958 » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:07 am

Just wondering how it went today. Not sure why I'm asking, just curious.

4EverMe
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Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Sat Jul 13, 2013 2:43 am

Hi Frame,
Are you awake and are you okay? Your msg has me concerned that you might be feeling depressed without anyone to listen right now. Please feel free to PM if you need to. Northwest time is currently 11:30 pm, and I'll be up for probably an hour or longer. Just let me know if you need one to talk to k?

Frame
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:13 am

People have to have money to live. I don't believe that but let's, just for arguments sake, say it's true. People give you money for stuff you do or stuff you make right? They exchange money for something of value.

They give you money because they value what you have. But whether they value this stuff, what value they'll place on it, what their willing to pay is proportional to whether you yourself value the stuff you do.

Up to this point in our thought experiment, it has nothing to with the reality of what this stuff is. People sell crap all the time. They get rich by convincing others it has value. I could do the highest quality work and, even if there was a market for it, if I don't value the work I'm not going to get any profit from it. Smart managers understand this; the world revolves around hiring skilled labor with low self esteem.

But I have something else going on. I can't get along with people. It's not conflict, because I pull away before conflict happens. So I'm all alone. Actually, that's the way I like it. Everything bothers me; so I'm here all alone. I'm a highly skilled, very effective communicator; a really good salesman. I understand the fundamental physical properties of just about everything. But I can't stand being around people any more. People find me though; come to me because they value my work or my reputation. And all I want to do is get rid of them. People call and leave messages I never bother to answer.

So much of my day is spent trying to rev myself up; spent here trying to sort this out; trying to meditate; searching for new solutions on line. I don't always get around to charging people for my work. It's not that I don't need the money (not that five times the income would solve my problems now).

I think it comes down to this; I get no joy from life, no happiness from the work I do. So I can't bring myself to place any value on it. I guess we'll get to test the basic theory that people need money to live; cause I'm going down. One more wasted life. A drop in the bucket.

People like me need support. They need that manipulating manager to keep me in some kind of stable environment. But it's gone too far. I guess some people never find what they're searching for.

Frame
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:27 am

Oh, and thanks for asking Alaska & 4Everme.

I think I really better look into getting some kind of meds. It's getting very dark around here. I'm starting to drink daily, but it gets me to sleep and I pop right up in the morning.

There have been times in my life where money wasn't an issue and, while I can't say that brought me any sort of peace (and I don't think I slept better) it was less stressful. In a mirror like fashion, (I think Bob Dillon said) "When you've got Nothin, You've got Nothin to loose." Thinks are out of your control and life is (hard of course but) less stressful.

So how I am is, in the middle. People keep coming to me to do rather highly skilled work on important items while the rest of my life crumbles, and I'm searching, and I'm falling (metaphorically), and I'm getting up (metaphorically), and I'm dizzy (really), and I don't want to die but the idea of being dead seems to have more value than the work I'm doing. It's kind of tough at the moment.

I appreciate your listening.

Frame
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:41 am

Landscapes; You know...landscapes;
You yourself 4Ever, you love the beautiful view.
And, Alaska, I'll bet there are few grand one's out there.

I should go find myself a beautiful view of a far off place sit down and stare for a while. That is if I can sit still for a while. Might be worth the struggle.

And then paint a landscape. A beautiful view.
Wash my hair first....But then after...

Hinges; who needs em. It's the weekend.
Let's all become unhinged.

All right, allright, I know, I know, I owe, I owe;
So off to work I go.

Pilule
Posts: 115
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:42 pm

Postby Pilule » Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:27 pm

Frame,

I used to not charge enough for the work I do. I figured I wasn't worth it. But people (the client) need to be taught a lesson. They will pay a licensed plumber 60 dollars an hour, they will pay an licensed electrician 60 dollars an hour but a guy that does both, they expect to pay him 20 dollars an hour.

So now I charge more and if the client is not happy he can always try to find somebody else. If a client tries to negotiate with me, I turn around and go away even if he ends up accepting the price I first told him. Most of my clients are happy with my work so I don't want a client that will whine and complaint.

I can be miserable by myself, I don't need anybody's help.

Frame
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:55 pm

Very true words Pilule; and they come at an appropriate time. I'm doing some highly sensitive work right now for a very good client who trusts my work both implicitly and explicitly. She said as she was leaving the work how glad she was to have someone she could trust to do this.

And yet she also mentioned in the conversation how the work hadn't yet been approved by her boss and how she hoped it would be less than the quote. Now understand me, I like this person and I know she doesn't give a damn how much it costs, and we both know I'm her only resource for this work. It's the corporate environment she's in, putting the thumbs on her; they may even be worried that I'm a sole supplier.

So I'm doing this work today thinking; "this isn't easy, and they want to minimize my value by paying less." It's very much contrary to the long term survival of high quality work in America (maybe the world). I need to charge a reasonable rate not only to survive, but so that my work is properly valued by the world. If they pay less they value it less. Large companies don't account that way. They just think they can stick it to the small guy.

So, Thanks for your support. It comes with perfect timing.

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:13 am

You go Frame, and stick it to em! These corporations can afford it, anyway! It's true; They don't give a furry rats ass about 'the small guy.' Therefore, let them know you don't give a crud about their desired estimates. Are they really so hard up as to insult your intelligence? And basically your hard work? You pour a lot of effort and talent into what you do. Don't take less than what that's worth!


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