What's the point

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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ruiner
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:26 pm

What's the point

Postby ruiner » Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:14 am

Sitting here at work. Feeling marginalized and alone, again. There really is no escape for any of these feelings. I used to be able to come here to get away from how my life was outside of work, how screwed up it has become. Now this place is just an extension of those feelings.

Struggling with finding the point today. If everything hurts why keep doing it. I keep getting told things will get better, give it time, a million silver linings. All that says is feel bad a little longer. I don't think people understand what they are asking. There is a part of me that wants to stay, and a part that is just ready to end this.

Frame
Moderator
Posts: 1081
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:56 am

Oh man I hear you. Don't know how much encouragement I can offer today, but I can commiserate. I'm deep in darkness here while the Sun is out and shining. My life is such a mess.

And I know I'm responsible for my actions. But We can only choose between the options before us. And whether it's just that I was born in a crack in the side walk or it's my mental "difference" or just my attitude, my options haven't seemed so pretty.

ruiner
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:26 pm

Postby ruiner » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:17 am

Yeah. I'm just trying to keep it together. I can feel myself boiling, lashing out at people for small things. I am just so tired of the only time I am addressed is when someone has a problem. Sit there and shut up and work until we need you for something.

My life is falling apart a little more each day. I only see two options really, suffer or die.

klmm
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jun 23, 2013 6:17 pm

Postby klmm » Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:47 pm

We do know that suffering can end and does end. Sometimes I think it is what we get out of the suffering that makes us strong.

Am I strong, not always, but, every time I get out of the dark hole, I realize it is not a train coming.

That is today anyway. We understand that a lot of how we feel about ourselves is also caused by the way we process what is said to us. There are days when "good morning" sounds like "f*** you", right?

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:42 pm

Please hang in there ruiner. I know there are people who love you. Suicide is basically taking away your own pain and transferring it to someone else. I'm sorry you are suffering and that you've had it. I am sorry that your once true escape has become an extension of what you're trying to flee from. This has got to suck. You probably feel as though there's no where left to run?? Have you looked upward? I mean to He who is higher than yourself? If God created the universe, he can surely help one in pain.

My belief is that each of us are a combination of our many life experiences, including our histories, beliefs, people we've met/known, and who we are at our core. You must continue to tap into your inner strength. One day, when your situation is much different, you'll look back and thank yourself for trudging through this dark storm. You have strength within or you wouldn't have even bothered to post your dilema. Something within you wants to fight this. I believe you'll pull through this. :)


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