Guilt

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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CMcK1993
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2017 4:15 pm

Guilt

Postby CMcK1993 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:47 pm

Hi All,

I'm 24 years old. I've been experiencing depression & social anxiety on & off since early August 2015. While I've thankfully experienced rather long periods of being content, (my low points usually last from anywhere between 1 week & 1 month, the longest I've been depressed was roughly 2 months but that was largely due to coming off medication, without my GP's say-so) sometimes I find it hard to process times when I've been down (usually when I'm feeling low I tend to sleep a lot, maintain very little social interaction & usually confine myself to my house) Anyway, I have huge problems regarding guilt/shame when looking back on my depressive episodes. Even when I'm moving forward & making progress, it's the 1 thing that plagues my mind. I think it's largely due to the fact that this problem has been going on for 2+ years & I feel guilty because I feel like there are periods in those 2 years where I've wasted time. I tend to be quite perfectionistic so when I'm not feeling myself because of depression or anxiety I feel very little compassion towards myself, the incessant feelings of guilt & shame just niggle away at me.. I was wondering if anybody else experiences intense feelings of shame/guilt & with time, do these feelings begin to fade? At the moment, I'm trying so so hard to keep things together (i.e. trying not to panic overly much over temporary problems, trying not to dwell on the past & just focusing on improving my life in general) But yes, can anybody else empathise with me over these feelings of guilt? I've booked an appointment with a psychiatrist (won't be seen to late Jan/early Feb of next year) & I'm hoping that talking through these issues will help give me closure, peace of mind, etc. & help me to move on with my life and look at the past not with regret, but maybe as a learning curve.. Anyway, thank you for reading this post (even though it was a little long-winded, lol) I'd appreciate any replies, advice, etc. on this matter.

Thank you,

Conor.

laurenipsum
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:19 pm

Re: Guilt

Postby laurenipsum » Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:42 pm

Hi Conor,

I actually joined this board just to respond to this. Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but hopefully it will help you just to hear someone say "me too." I feel guilt and shame over my past mistakes and actions all the time. It's a sick, uncomfortable feeling that's like background noise all the time and sometimes almost incapacitates me. A lot of my energy is spent trying to escape the feeling or distract myself from it. And I feel terrified to make any decisions or take any actions for fear that I'll make yet another mistake to feel ashamed about.

Sounds like you're taking steps and fighting, and that's great. I empathize and wish you the best.


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