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Hi, I'm new here.
My problem isn't that big, but I am just sick of it, or I don't know how to explain how I feel about it, but it is not positive feelings. I just need to write.
I guess that some people could be curious, so I'll tell our ages. I am 18, my best friend is also 18, and the guy is 20.
I met my best friend when I started to do a matrial arts sport six years ago, which I love. She is a girl that likes to socialize with people, and it seems like that almost every guy she is social with, falls in love with her. She says that she automatically flirts with them, without noticing it.
One year ago, a guy started at our club. He have been doing the matrial arts sport before, but took a break because of school. Me and my best friend started to talk with him, and we quickly became friends. At that time, I liked another boy.
About one month ago, I started to get feelings for this guy. I have done naive mistakes before, thinking that my (old) significant other liked me back, which was wrong, so this time I tried to avoid thoughts that would encourage me to think that he liked me back the same way as I like him as much as possible.
But there was a little hope and thought about it.
Sometimes when we hug each other, he could lift me up, but that was nothing more than some minor behaviour I was noticing.
My best friend likes to hang out with people during free-time, so she have been with this guy during free-time. Also, she is that kind of girl who often send sms quite often, so they have been messaging each other.
That made him think that there was something going on between the two of them. Which was wrong.
My best friend already have a boyfriend, but as I said earlier, she rarely notices that she flirts automatically.
(My best friend told me this)
One day, they were messaging, and came to the topic about boyfriend and love and so on. She told him something about her boyfriend, which he of course didn't know about. He told her that he liked her. The atmosphere between them is still awkward, but I am not too sure about that. Could be worse, could be better.
I have already told her a little about that I maybe liked him, but when she told me what I just wrote about, proved that I actually had feelings towards him. The pain and anxiety killed me inside, and I had to tell her how I felt, that was some hours after she told me though.
She did know that I liked him, but she didn't know that my feelings were that strong already that I could start to cry if I got hurt. She apologized to me lots of times, tried to comfort me, and started to think about her behaviour against boys at our age. I noticed that her behaviour have changed.
My guess is: mainly when a guy starts to like her more than a friend, she doesn't change her behaviour against other persons. But, this time it ended getting her best friend (me) hurt, she have thought about it, and have to control how she is behaving against other guys.
Later, she told me that she met the guy I like, and they talked about it. She said that he said that he didn't want anything serious with her, he was just feeling lonely. That made her think that he didn't like her that way, after all.
But I kinda doubt about it, I don't know.
I am just confused now, because I went on a vacation, and havent met him for a month before the day my friend told me about that he liked her and all that. So some days ago, we finally met each other (we had training). I noticed that day that he looked at me a lot, when he hugged me, he picked me up, and started to spin me around, like he was superhappy over something. He talked to me a lot, and I also noticed that he and my best friend barely talked to each other, they didn't even hug each other like they used to.
I wish that I also could be that person who could message people often without feeling that I might bother them or annoy them. I feel like this because I usually don't like when people are messaging me without pauses.
I don't want to be an annoying person.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, my first language isn't english, so yeah...
Take care.